


Port in a Storm

by Melkur_Mistress



Category: Doctor Who (2005)
Genre: Angst, Emotional Hurt/Comfort, F/F, Fluff, Fun, Hurt/Comfort, Implied/Referenced Torture, It starts sad, Marriage, UNIT are in it briefly, it gets lovely, it gets problematic, trust me I love Missy and 13
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-02-11
Updated: 2019-10-06
Packaged: 2019-10-25 21:52:48
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 13
Words: 28,325
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/17733347
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Melkur_Mistress/pseuds/Melkur_Mistress
Summary: The Doctor is investigating unusual activity, and stumbles upon Missy who has been held in a brutal prison known for psychological torture.  The Doctor takes her out and helps her recover. They begin to live a happy, idyllic life together but something is very wrong with Missy.-------“Missy? Listen to my voice - come on honey I need you to stop whatever you’re doing and look at me. Missy please. I have to stop you.”Missy simply turned back to the access panel and continued. At a loss, the Doctor grasped her shoulders more firmly and tried to pull her away.Missy’s eyes found hers finally, but with a blankness that unnerved her. She lunged at the Doctor, pushing her to the ground, her hands moving to her throat and grasping tightly.------





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> This starts sad, becomes very fluffy - with a perfect happy Thrissy love that is too idyllic to last. 
> 
> It is T rated, so any issues such as torture are implied but not spelled out, and sex is definitely happening with these two, but I don’t spell it out graphically in this story. 
> 
> There’s a cute scene where they have fun at a fairground together, so give it a go for that alone!
> 
> At the time of putting it on here, I am 8 chapters in so I will upload the first 4 to get it really going, then aim for weekly.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Missy will be not quite herself in chapters 1 and 2, but that's intentional - this story is an unravelling sort of thing.

_Time Lord - those two words changed everything._

The Doctor was at the hellish prison under false pretences - rumour had it there was the fallout of a recent experiment - conducted illegally, which had left a rift in time. Worth investigating, even though the readings on her sonic were quite low and indicated that the threat had passed. Always a good idea to keep an eye on these things anyway.

Then while believing her to be the intergalactic head of security, inspecting the prison, they had boasted about their methods, clearly believing it would impress her. She acted suitably impressed, and did not show a single outward sign of how disgusted she was as they went into detail about the cruel and dehumanising methods they used to ‘cure’ their prisoners. It was more than behaviour modification - erasing chunks of memory could have been enough, but they used brutal means to then utterly destroy the person left behind in the prcocess.

It went against everything in her nature, but she held herself together expertly and carried on. Until they told her that Time Lord’s were exceptional prisoners. Hard to break, and satisfying with each shred they tore away.

The list of Time Lord’s that might end up in a maximum security prison / torture house, was not great, and the Doctor’s only thought was which one of the Master it might be.

She insisted on assessing their control of the prisoner.

As they walked toward the cells, she asked what the prisoner’s crime had been and felt dismayed when they told her that she hadn’t done anything wrong at all, in the five years that she had been living on their world. Her identity had been discovered - and she was sentenced without trial for who she was - who she had been.

The Doctor kept her composure, focusing on how she would get her friend out of all of this.

When she entered the cell, her eyes fell straight to Missy, and her hearts broke as her mind worked hard to consider the scenarios she could use to get her released. None seemed viable - and she realised she would have to play the game even further.

Missy sat on the floor, her back against the wall, heavy iron cuffs secured by a long chain to the wall. The Doctor felt her mask slipping as she took in her appearance. Missy stared blankly at the stone wall in front of her, her reaction as they entered, was to steel herself.

She felt angry as she caught sight of a considerable amount of injuries scattered across every inch of her exposed skin. The clothing she wore was thin cotton, stained in what could only be blood. She felt a rage boil up inside her and fought to contain it. She would have to remain calm and in control if she was going to be any help to her.

The Doctor crossed over to her, and bent down, placing her hands on Missy’s shoulders as she attempted to make eye contact with her. She felt her tense with a violent shudder under her hands as her eyes filled with an anger that unnerved her. The gaze she cast her felt as if the anger were merely a mask, worn out of practice and only there to cover something far more vulnerable that lie underneath. The Doctor wanted nothing else but to break her free of her chains and take her in her arms. She didn’t always know, over the years, when the Master was acting - they often did to escape death, captivity, simply to torture her, but something in the blank haunted expression she could clearly see beneath  the mask of anger Missy wore, told her this was not an act.

“How long has she been here for?” the Doctor asked, not averting her gaze from Missy’s unnervingly disconnected gaze.

“Six months,” he replied.

“I see, and when will she be released?” the Doctor asked.

“She won’t. She’s a Time Lord, they’re a valuable commodity. We don’t routinely release our prisoners  - they hold value once they are broken and no longer a danger. There is always a demand for purchase.”

“What price have you attached to her?” the Doctor, look up at him and felt a wave of disgust at the entire situation as she then proceeded to haggle over Missy.

They certainly knew how to drive a hard bargain, but the Doctor paid the sky high price they asked for, and found herself signing a document which declared Missy her property. She planned to burn it the first chance she had.

She worked hard not to let her relief show when she heard them say that she had to understand that the process had not been fully completed, and they would not accept a reversal of the sale.

The guards moved quickly toward Missy, grabbing her roughly and pulling her to her feet as they unlocked the cuffs. The Doctor fought the compulsion to stop them, realising her need to play her role until they were safely out of the confines of the prison. Missy instantly backed up against the wall, her eyes still unnervingly blank, except for a hint of anger as the Doctor asked them to step back, stating that she was perfectly able to handle her. She felt a wave of concern as she gave her a brief smile, trying to offer her some reassurance, but fearing that Missy gave no glimmer of recognition to her.

She always knew, could always look right through and see her as who she was - as the Doctor. Now though, Missy just flicked her eyes toward her briefly, only making enough eye contact to try to ascertain who she was.

She hated it, but she could hardly announce her true identity right there, so she took hold of Missy’s upper arm firmly, and walked her out of the cell. She could feel Missy shaking, and she vowed to take her in her arms as soon as they were clear of the building.

In the large entrance way, lined with comfortable chairs and a large reception desk where a guard sat was their last barrier to freedom left to cross, the Doctor was handed a bag of Missy’s possessions, her other hand still gripping Missy’s arm.

The Doctor complimented them on their efficiently run prison, and assured them they had passed the inspection, and soon she was walking Missy out of the front door, and into the bright light of the day.

She was so determined to get Missy out of the grounds of the prison that she hadn’t paused, and it was only when they were through the security gate that she glanced at her, and noticed her struggling to open her eyes against the light.

“Oh I’m sorry, it’s dark where they’ve been holding you - once we get back, I’ll keep the lights dimmed until you adjust. Just around the corner and we can shut the door and go,” the Doctor said.

Missy stumbled a few times with the Doctor’s haste to reach her TARDIS, so the Doctor slowed her pace, her hand leaving her arm as she put her arm around her shoulders and offered her some support. It concerned her that she still felt as tense as she had in the cell - she was giving little indication that she knew where she was going.

They finally reached the doors and the Doctor opened them, gesturing for Missy to go in ahead of her. She watched as Missy walked through the door, not even glancing at the TARDIS or showing any sign of relief.

The Doctor followed her inside and shut the door, moving straight to the console and dematerialising, wanting to ensure they were safely away. She sighed in relief, then looked across the console at her, and was struck with the realisation that Missy had no idea where she was. 

Missy was standing close to the console, her hand gripping the edge. She appeared pale and unwell, but she was watching the Doctor with caution.

The Doctor walked around the console, needing to be close to her and get to work healing her injuries.

Missy met her eyes with a sudden determination, despite the tears that were trying to betray her.

“What do you want me for? If you want me to kill anyone I won’t. It doesn’t matter what you do to coerce me  - I won’t kill. I could have killed those guards...for what they did to me, but I didn’t. I think the Doctor would be happy about that - I think….I’m not sure. It’s hard to remember now..if that's good or not. But I won’t be used as a weapon.”

The Doctor looked at her, stunned, “ _Missy_...do you know who I am?”

“No,” Missy replied.

The Doctor closed her eyes as realisation dawned on her.

“You don’t..I’m sorry, you always have...I thought...we’re in my TARDIS...don’t you recognise me?”

“I’m sorry,” Missy whispered, before steeling herself and speaking with a forced confidence, as plans to take control of the TARDIS and escape, gradually began to form in her head. “You’re a  Time Lord....”

“Missy,” the Doctor said, reaching out and placing her hand on her shoulder. “Look at me - why don’t you know me?”

Missy stared at her in confusion, and stepped back, just enough that the Doctor’s hand left her shoulder.

“I’m the Doctor - we’re in my TARDIS….”

Missy stared at her in confusion, “the Doctors dead. I saw it.”

“No, Missy no, I’m not. Look at me - really look,” she paused, feeling a loss. “Can I show you?”

Missy hesitated, then stared at her intently, “my head hurts.”

The Doctor felt a wave of compassion at Missy’s words and stepped forward, attempting to hug her. Missy stepped back further, her eyes widening with alarm.

“You can’t be the Doctor - they showed me the Doctor’s death. I remember it - I couldn’t but then I did.”

“Oh Missy, whatever they did to your memory, please, please don’t believe that. I’m right here. Let me show you - just a little, you need to trust me and you can’t if you don’t know who I am,” the Doctor said, as she extended her hands but did not step closer.

“Ok,” Missy whispered, deciding that she would at least gain insight into the intentions of the woman. “What can I have left to lose.”

The Doctor stepped toward her, holding out her hands - wanting to encourage Missy to initiate their contact. When it was clear she wasn’t going to, the Doctor gently took her hands. Missy tensed at first, and the Doctor’s hearts broke at the tremor that coursed through her at her touch.

“You’re going to be ok Missy, I’m going to make sure of that. I promise you I will help you.”

She waited until she was certain she was steady enough to stand without supporting herself on the console, and she lent forward, her forehead touching against hers.

Instantly she let go of Missy’s hands and wrapped her in her arms, holding her up as she gently eased into her mind. Opening a  channel between them showed Missy who she was, but also had the side effect of flashes of Missy’s mind leaking through into hers. Her mind was easy to penetrate - far too easy, and yet there was still a solid wall that the Doctor could not get through. The sudden bombardment from Missy’s mind gave the Doctor a chill - she hated seeing Missy in pain, but she was grateful to have some insight into what she had been through. It was brutal and devastating, and she wasn’t entirely certain if Missy had meant for her to see. Her barriers were weak from constant violation - her mind wide open and screaming.

As she eased back, ending their connection, she felt a sense of relief as Missy turned to rest her head on her shoulder. She was almost fully supporting her weight, and she knew she needed to move her somewhere that she could check her over, but she took a moment to hold her in her arms and kiss her head.

"Doctor," she whispered. "You're here."

“What did they do to you, that you couldn’t sense who I was?” the Doctor said.

Missy took a shaky breath, “it will get better, the drugs they pumped with will wear off and my senses will restore. Doctor,” she continued, her voice laced with a deep sadness. “I don’t ever want to let you go.”

 


	2. Chapter 2

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Missy will be more like her usual self towards the end of this chapter.

She took her to a room - a large and exquisitely decorated room, the style seemed to fit Missy and she hoped that it would show her that this TARDIS was a home, a place where she could be safe. She didn’t know if Missy accepted that. After her honesty, she had retreated starkly. She was now much more relaxed but had frequently tensed when the Doctor moved suddenly, merely pointing out things in the wrong -  and subtly inched away. She suspected that Missy was looking for a way to defend herself and she hated that she would ever feel like that around her, but she pushed it aside, reminding herself that Missy was dealing with intense trauma. It wasn’t personal - but she could help her.

First though, she wanted to assess her condition - aware of how many injuries she had seen. It seemed best to do what she could from Missy’s room given that she wanted her to settle in.

Missy sat down when the Doctor asked her to, and remained silent while the Doctor scanned her - pausing and frowning at the readouts. She looked up at her, a questioning gaze.

The Doctor gave her a smile and tried to project the warmth she felt for her, “I can get you feeling a lot stronger physically quite quickly, if that’s ok?”

“Sure,” Missy whispered.

“Ok,” the Doctor said, relieved to see her beginning to relax. “I want to check you over, heal anything I can, work out what else we need to do to get you better, then maybe I could run you a bath and get you something to eat. You have your own bathroom in here, so you won’t need to go far. Maybe after that - we could just sit together, talk a bit. Does that sound ok?”

Missy nodded and looked at the Doctor appearing hugely uncertain.

“Missy,” the Doctor said, her hands moving to cover Missy’s and hold on to her gently. “It’s ok if you don’t want something I said - you don’t have to do anything. At the very least I want to assess your injuries, and get you cleaned up, nourished and resting. I want to take care of you - and right now you need to be taken care of. Will you let me?”

Missy looked into her eyes, seeing only warmth and affection reflected at her, and a tinge of sadness. She took the Doctors hands and whispered, “sit with me for a while first?”

The Doctor smiled and sat beside her, uncertain if Missy needed more physical space than she normally would, but Missy made it clear that she didn’t, inching closer and  throwing her arms around the Doctor with no warning. The Doctor responded by wrapping her into a loving embrace, her hand moving up to stroke Missy’s hair instinctively.

“You’re free now, and I’d go as far as to say...well, if you wanted it to be...you could be home now too.”

“Home...with you?” Missy asked.

“Yeah, I like the sound of that, don’t you?” the Doctor asked, trying not to set her hopes too high.

“I do….I missed you so much,” she said, burying her face against the Doctor’s shoulder.

The Doctor treated a multitude of wounds and injuries and counteracted the effects of drugs in her system while she re-hydrated her. Missy’s pallor was improving by the time she laid down on her bed, suddenly immensely tired, as the Doctor worked to stabilise her regeneration energy so her body could take over and heal anything else. She stopped when Missy’s eyes closed as she murmured, her hand reaching out to her.

The Doctor realised she could do no more except be with her, and so she pulled off her boots and climbed into bed with her, pulling the cover over them both. She had helped Missy to change into a black and purple nightdress - it was not exactly to Missy’s usual style, but she seemed happy with it, and the Doctor had been relieved to get rid of the blood stained clothing she wore. It was unsettling to her how passive Missy was being - but it did make it somewhat easier to take care of her injuries at any event.

She moulded her body to Missy’s, hearing a murmur of satisfaction as she hugged her close. Missy reached for her hand sleepily, and fell instantly asleep as the Doctor gave her hand a reassuring squeeze.

She was amazed that Missy hadn’t woken with nightmares - but happy to see that she had managed a restful and deep sleep. She inched back, untangling herself from Missy, who had turned to face her and wrapped her arms around her.

Once she had rolled away, she eased herself off the bed quietly, and pulled the cover back over Missy. She planned to get her in a bath and then ensure she ate something before she started to address what damage they might have done to her mind - they had clearly rampaged through, destroying her barriers, and yet one thing remained impenetrable, and that gave the Doctor and underlying concern. How could she hold onto something so successfully when the rest of her mind was wide open?

The Doctor was busying herself in Missy’s room when she woke, and didn’t notice her rousing at first. She had prepared some light food, and filled a jug of water, placing it on a small table next to the bed. Glancing across she broke into a broad grin when she saw her eyes open.

“You look much better,” the Doctor said. “How are you feeling?”

Missy shifted slightly, awkwardly attempting to sit up, and the Doctor was by her side in an instant, easing her up and adjusting her pillows so she could sit up comfortably. She sat on the bed next to her and reached out slowly, stroking her hair once she was sure Missy was not uncomfortable with the contact.

“I’m…” Missy whispered. “In your TARDIS - you regenerated...you’re alive.”

“Yeah, very much alive - I take it the people who did this to you put you through quite some significant psychological torture as well as everything else.”

“Yeah,” she said quietly, staring at her hands before moving her gaze back to the Doctor and meeting her eyes. “I’m really glad you’re alive - it was...hell, thinking you were dead. I love you unimaginably and I felt like my hearts were ripped out….”

Missy stopped speaking and burst into tears and the Doctor placed a hand on her arm, before pulling her into a tight embrace. As she wrapped her arms around her, she kissed her head, whispering reassurances to her and, telling her she loved her in the words of their own language.

Missy held on to her tightly, crying hard as her pain from the past six months all came to the surface. The Doctor merely held her, talking softly, and letting her know she was not alone.It broke her hearts to see her friend in such distress, but she promised herself that she would do whatever it took to help her.

Eventually she felt Missy relaxing and kissed her head, tightening her embrace.

“I like this you - you’re the cuddliest one so far. I’ve waited a long time for you to get all cuddly with me. I didn’t exactly make it clear that a cuddle was what I wanted though, did I?

“No,” the Doctor used. “You had a universe ending way of trying to tell me that.”

“Yeah, I did. Well I’m glad I finally chose the direct approach.”

“Then I like this you too,” the Doctor said, kissing her head again. “I really do.”

They stayed in a comfortable embrace, and the Doctor had never felt at such peace - no matter what had gone between them, this was the place that felt right - in each others arms.

“Hungry?” the Doctor eventually asked, hopefully, when realising Missy had calmed somewhat.

“Not really,”

“Ok, well maybe if we have tea in a bit you can just try something.”

 

She spent most of the afternoon with Missy in her arms, only breaking to run her a bath. Missy insisted she leave, not wanting any help, and the Doctor respected that although harboured a deep longing to go in and wash her hair and  treat her with the respect and kindness that she had been without.

They sat later, drinking tea in the Doctors library. The Doctor glanced at her, happy that she looked much better then, and had managed to eat a little. Missy had shown complete indifference to any suggestion of getting dressed but the Doctor having insisted that she not remain in a dressing gown permanently, had left her alone for a while. When she eventually emerged and came to the library, she had replicated her favourite outfit and it almost made the Doctor sigh in relief to see her looking so much like herself.

“You look great - didn’t know I had any hairspray!”

“It’s gel, you have tons of gel for some reason but I’m not complaining. I feel almost alive again.”

The Doctor frowned as she sipped her tea, “you are Missy - you lived through what they did to you. It won’t do good to not face it - I’m not saying you have to tell me all the details, but not harbouring it all alone might make it somewhat easier to heal. How about you start at the beginning - five years ago?”

“Five years?” Missy looked at her, confused.

“The guards said you had lived there for five years before they arrested you?”

“Oh..maybe. Time is hard to quantify when you get to our age really isn’t it?”

“How did you come to be there?” The Doctor asked, a warning in her mind telling her that something was wrong.

“I..don’t know. Don’t really remember,” Missy shrugged.

“You don’t remember arriving there at all?” The Doctor asked.

“No, I was just there.”

The Doctor looked at her, alarmed, “Missy this isn’t good at all. What’s the last thing you remember before that planet?”

Missy stared into her tea cup, “well, I could say it would have to be the paralysing pain in my back when past me shot me on that ship. THAT was a disaster of a trip out.”

“He _shot you_?”

“Oh, don’t worry, he shot me, I stabbed him, it was a whole murder suicide type arrangement. That’s in the past now.”

“What happened after that, did he take you with him?”

“ _No_ …” Missy said hesitantly. “I don’t think so….fairly sure the wound I gave him was fatal. Can’t have two of the same me in the same TARDIS….no, I just...laid there dying.”

“But you didn’t die. How did you get off that ship?” the Doctor asked, deeply concerned.

“Noooo...fairly sure I died,” Missy said, dropping a repeated volley of sugar cubes into her tea.

“But you’re still you...you didn’t regenerate,” the Doctor said.

“No...I didn’t. Look I don’t know. I’m just alive and that’s what matters.”

The Doctor looked at her in concern, “how and why you are alive though...such a crucial part of your memory missing is alarming Missy. We need to find out why.”

“Oh no, you are not going into my mind. I’ve had enough people ransacking their way through there. It’s a miracle you can even be this close to me without everything i’m thinking and feeling spilling out all over you. My mental barriers are very weak at the moment. I need to focus on rebuilding that - I won’t feel safe until I do.”

“Maybe you’re not safe without knowing what happened Missy.”

“Later honey, I want to rest, take care of myself, feel like I’m a smidge closer to being ok. If I recall correctly...you said something about wanting to take care of me...that...sounds very appealing about now.”

The Doctor smiled and took her hand, “I want nothing more Missy.”

 


	3. Chapter 3

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This chapter is fluffy and fun.
> 
> With thanks to Resa for the 13 / Missy roleplay, which inspired this chapter.

As the weeks passed, Missy grew happier and the Doctor was surprised that apart from a flat out refusal to leave the TARDIS, her only other indication of trauma was nightmares, which had already lessened in frequency somewhat. The Doctor was wary about how quickly she seemed to recover from her ordeal, but suspected she may have been regaining her mental strength successfully enough to control the bad memories and prevent them for overwhelming her. That was a good sign, surely.

Toward the end of a relatively perfect day, they sat together working on a complex time experiment in the Doctor’s laboratory. Missy was in her element, and took the work the Doctor had began a lifetime ago to the next stage with an impressive ease that was quite breathtaking. She had always admired her friends skill and talent, but working alongside her felt a privilege. 

“Do you have a TARDIS somewhere that we should pick up?” the Doctor asked casually.

“Oh, I assume it’s where I left it last,” Missy replied casually.

“Where’s that?” the Doctor asked.

“It’s…” Missy paused and frowned. “Well, I hide my favourite things well, so I'm sure it's quite safe. I like being here with you, so no need to go anywhere else."

“Well,” said the Doctor. “We could park it inside mine, keep it safe.”

Missy smiled, “Maybe - did they give you anything of mine? A lipstick?”

“I didn’t see a lipstick, why?”

“It’s a recall device for my TARDIS - if it’s not there it's just a bit trickier. No rush though,” Missy said. "I'm happy right here."

They had later, taken a pleasant stroll along a coastal path on a quiet, unspoilt alien world, neither were sure whose hand had first slipped into the others as the moment felt so natural. They were both filled with a genuine and rare sense of peace as they enjoyed their time together.

The day drew to a close and they sat together on a fallen tree, looking out across the water as the Doctor slipped her arm around Missy’s shoulders. Missy smiled and melted into the warmth of her hold. She tilted her head up and nuzzled her face against the Doctor’s neck before placing a soft kiss. 

The Doctor felt a rush of happiness as her other arm slipped around Missy, drawing her into an embrace. “I love you, and this, it’s perfect. Just being together - nowhere we have to be, nothing to run from or to - just us.”

Missy wrapped her arms around the Doctor and placed her forehead gently against hers as she whispered.

“Love isn’t a big enough word for us - let me show you.” 

The Doctor closed her eyes and sighed longingly before whispering her consent, “contact.”

Missy lowered her mental barriers, with a control the Doctor instantly noticed. She had regained her strength considerably and was brushing gently against the Doctors mind before nudging in. The Doctor sighed and relaxed as the feelings they shared began to flow between them. Love, loss, hurt and joy, lifetimes upon lifetimes of heartbreak and longing, fighting and deaths, all swirling around them until that moment as they sat together, trusting and open to each other.

The Doctor felt tears in her eyes as she was enveloped in the depth of Missy’s feeling for her filling her and merging with her own. She rested one hand on her shoulder and her other moved to her head, stroking her hair lovingly.

“Koschei….” she whispered. “Always...always us.”

Missy let herself be consumed by the intensity of the shared emotions, able now to control her barriers, but choosing to let the feelings all rush into her. She cried more easily and openly than the Doctor did - still far less practised at containing her emotional responses, but not really caring. Their love when carried alone was also a deep loneliness - merging the very depth of their feeling together. Suddenly decimated, that loneliness and their hearts were filled with love and hope and possibility.

“I don’t ever want to leave you,” Missy whispered.

“Then don’t Koschei, just don’t.”

Missy met her eyes with a smile, “ok.”

They instinctively slipped their hands into each others as they walked back to the Doctor’s TARDIS, the Doctor with a smile she couldn’t have hidden if she wanted to, and Missy with an incredible sense of peace.

It simply felt perfect.

Back in the TARDIS, they didn’t give it a second thought when they found themselves in the Doctor’s bedroom - to part seemed not a notion to give any consideration too. They fell into the bed together, suddenly unable to let each other go as their lips met and their hands explored each other with eagerness.

Later, they laid together, satiated and naked and very wrapped up in each other, needing no blanket when the warmth of their bodies kept them comfortable and safe in each others arms. Missy nuzzled her face into the Doctor’s neck with a giggle.

“I absolutely adore every inch of you, you are quite beautiful my dear Doctor.”

The Doctor kissed her head and tightened her hold lovingly, “I love you Missy - I always have. This - you living with me, travelling with me - I couldn’t be happier.”

 

Days rolled into weeks, and weeks into months - their life felt idyllic. Missy suggested a trip out, as they worked together on an overloaded TARDIS circuit. The Doctor felt excited by the concept - living together was truly wonderful, but going on a trip gave her a real sense of excitement.

“Anywhere in particular you want to go?” the Doctor asked.

“Somewhere fun - where the likelihood of some random alien invasion that you will feel bound to fix is very low. A date!” 

“A date?” the Doctor asked, doubtfully. “Not sure I remember how to do that.”

“Oh it will come back to you!” Missy exclaimed happily.

The Doctor put a lot of thought into it, and eventually came up with something she felt would satisfy Missy’s urge for both fun and low odds of people needing saving.

They opened the doors, and Missy linked arms with the Doctor excitedly, adjusting her hat, and glancing around in great interest.

“Well, I won’t complain about this being earth because..it looks and sounds like earth, but it isn’t..”Missy said, intrigued.

“This is a replica of a late 19th century earth fair. The rides were far more basic mechanical rather than the immersing experiences that were seen 100 years or more into the future. The side show games are still near impossible to win though, but they’re fun to play.”

Missy laughed as the Doctor suddenly gasped in excitement.

"A ghost train! I love ghost trains!" she exclaimed happily, as she practically dragged Missy over to the the booth.

The Doctor began to fish around in her pocket for anything resembling appropriate currency, and then looked up and cast a chastising glance at Missy, who after a quick word and a hypnotic glance, had secured their free entry to the ride.

She took a seat next to her, “you really shouldn’t use mind control to get free rides Missy, it’s just not what nice people do.”

Missy burst into laughter and the carriage began to move, rattling along through the most non scary scene that either of them had ever experienced. Missy thought it hilarious the way the Doctor appeared to feel obliged to act scared and hid her face on Missy’s shoulder as something dangled down to touch her head right before a cheap plastic skeleton was thrust out in front of them.

“Oh it’s terrifying Doctor, my evil hearts are quaking,” Missy laughed.

“It’s fun! Play along!” the Doctor said, then slipped an arm around her waist. “And you’re not evil.”

The carriage jolted as it turned a corner, and just as they had almost reached the poorly concealed light coming from the exit doors, a large artificial spider quickly lowered and raised again in front of them. Missy barely reacted, but smiled in amusement as the Doctor screamed loudly beside her.

They climbed out of the carriage, with the Doctor thanking the ride operator, and held hands as Missy pulled her toward a candy floss stand. Realising she actually had no appropriate form of currency, the Doctor merely glanced in the other direction, looking in delight at the ferris wheel and pretending not to see Missy gain everything they wanted using hypnosis.

They wandered through the fairground, the lights, music and happy shouts and screams around them, seeming to light the Doctor up even more than Missy thought possible. She smiled, there was no denying how much fun she was having, and they had two more rides to go on before they had done every single one.

Missy grabbed her hand and pulled her over to a side show - the large sign read: ‘prize every time.’

“Win me something Doctor!”

The Doctor eyed the game carefully - the darts, of which there were three in each go, were undoubtedly carefully weighted to ensure that wining the star prize was near impossible.

“These games aren’t designed to be won, but at least we get something I suppose.”

“No, no, Doctor, that’s not the attitude. We will win that stuffed dog up there,” Missy said.

The Doctor followed her eye line to see a soft toy so huge it would be a terrible hassle to carry around with them. She smiled and promised to try.

After nine attempts, Missy finally realised that the Doctor was making a very big mistake. Attempting to win an obviously fixed game, by fair means, was just not the way to play it.

“Let me try,” Missy said.

The Doctor looked at her, her arms full of the ‘prize every time’ consolation prizes, a cheap, see through blue and green ring at the top of the pile.

“But we have all these prizes!”

Missy looked at her and shook her head, “but I don’t want any of those, I want the dog!”

The Doctor chewed her lip as she regarded her, “maybe you will want one of these…”

Missy took the darts, and popped a very small device out of her pocket, placing it in the palm of her hand. She smiled at the stallholder as she threw the darts, each one landing with exact precision in the bulls-eye.

“I win!” Missy exclaimed happily, jumping up and down and clapping her hands.

The Doctor rolled her eyes as Missy was handed the huge dog, cuddling it as they walked away,

“Technically Missy, you didn't win, you cheated,” the Doctor said.

“The game isn't fair to begin with, so I see no problem,” Missy laughed, now holding the dog by a leg and pulling it behind her, already growing tired of carrying it.

“Well, I like my consolation prizes, especially this one.”

The Doctor dropped the prizes to the ground and held up the plastic ring, as Missy stared in confusion.

“Why? Is there anything special about it? What does it do?”

The Doctor laughed, “it’s not a device or a source of some amazing power, it’s just a ring. It’s symbolic.”

“Symbolic of what?” Missy asked as she frowned in confusion.

The Doctor took a deep breath and dropped down, leaning on one knee, the ring thrust up toward Missy.

“Symbolic of my eternal love for you - marry me Missy. We've wasted so much time. We share our lives together, we love each other, we’re not trying to kill each other - it’s always been about you and me, everything we do always leads back to us, and I think we finally….”

Missy dropped to the ground, and knelt down in front of her, taking her face in her hands and cutting off her words by kissing her softly. When she broke away, she smiled as tears formed in her eyes.

“Nothing would make me happier than to marry you Doctor,” she said.

She gasped and smiled as her tears fell when the Doctor placed the plastic ring on her finger, with promises to get her a real ring as soon as possible.

“Don’t you dare, this is the only ring I will ever want!” Missy said, as she threw her arms around the Doctor and felt safer and happier than she could ever remember feeling.

As they stood, Missy took the Doctors hands in hers and smiled, “how about we get married right here and now. They have a  booth for that too!”


	4. Chapter 4

Some time later, they tumbled back into the TARDIS happily, the Doctor then wearing a red and yellow version of the translucent plastic ring that Missy now adored.

“Well, I must say you really outdid yourself for a first date in these bodies Doctor,” Missy said, laughing with a joyousness that the Doctor found simply lifted her hearts to hear.

“I hadn’t really planned to marry you like this, I was going to wait until at least our third date to propose!” the Doctor said with a laugh.

“Well, you are going to have to come up with some sensational ideas for our next date to top this!” Missy said with a laugh as she pulled the Doctor into their bedroom.

They fell asleep eventually, comfortable and secure, resting with more peace than either had in lifetimes. When the Doctor roused some hours later, she opened her eyes drowsily and stared at the empty space where Missy had been. Concerned that she may have had a nightmare and be unsettled, the Doctor rolled out of bed, slipping into a dressing gown and securing it with a knot at the front as she made her way out of the room.

She tried Missy’s room at first, before glancing in the music room and then the library. Given that these were the only rooms that Missy had really frequented, the Doctor felt quite uncertain when she could not find her. Deciding to scan for her, she made her way to the console room and stopped abruptly as she pushed the door open and caught sight of Missy standing at her console wearing only her blouse. It’s length just covered her, and it was fastened by only four buttons, barely enough to cover her. 

“Missy?” she called softly. “Are you ok?”

Missy did not acknowledge her at all, and her hands began to dance across the controls.

“What are you doing?” the Doctor asked, stepping closer to her.

Missy continued, and the Doctor stepped around to stand behind her, pulling her coat from the coat rack as she did. Her coat, being longer than Missy’s seemed ideal. She slipped it over Missy’s shoulders and kissed her cheek.

“Missy? Honey, what are you doing?”

Missy stilled, her hands moving away from the controls as she turned to her, her expression somewhat blank and confused.

“What?” she asked.

“What were you doing? It’s ok  - I’m just a bit concerned - I can’t work out what you’re doing.”

The Doctor pulled out her sonic screwdriver and scanned the console, frowning at the readings. She glanced at Missy questioningly. “Can you tell me what you were doing? I need to know Missy.”

Missy looked at her in abject confusion and a flash of worry, “I really don’t know…..can I go back to bed?”

The Doctor watched her cautiously, “sure, of course - maybe we could chat about this in the morning…”

Missy barely responded and turned, walking from the room. The Doctor watched her leave and turned back to the console, deciding to run some more checks before she went back to sleep.

When the Doctor woke several hours later, the first thing she felt was Missy’s warm body cuddled up against hers. Her arm was thrown over the Doctor’s stomach in an almost protective posture. She smiled, and kissed Missy’s head.

“Mmmm, morning,” Missy smiled happily with her eyes closed.

The Doctor stroked her hair with a warm smile, “best morning in a very long time.”

“Oh? Why is that?” Missy asked with feigned innocence.

The Doctor laughed, “are you fishing for compliments? I have tons of compliments for you, no fishing needed.”

Missy opened her eyes and looked at the Doctor, “shall we stay in bed all day?”

“That’s a lovely idea - would like to maybe look into your memory problem a little though. Hey - you were sleepwalking last night. That’s new for you - do you remember anything?”

“Sleep walking? I don’t think I've ever done that before. Why would I ever want to leave this bed!”

“You were accessing the navigational system and energy readings - I trust you Missy, I honestly do, but if you’re accessing the console like that and not aware of it...I think locking you out when you’re asleep is wise. Not all the time….” the Doctor said.

“Oh...ok. Well...I suppose you want to poke and prod my mind now and see what’s going on,” she looked up at the ceiling with a groan of frustration. “ _Fine_ , but go easy ok….”

“Of course Missy, I promise you I’ll be careful.

 

Soon after, Missy sat on the edge of a bed in the Doctor’s medical room, chewing her lip and watching the Doctor uneasily as she brought equipment to the table beside her.

“I said to go easy Doctor - you look like you’re prepping for brain surgery…”

“I’m hoping I can just go in and have a careful look around, but I’m quite interested in your medial temporal lobe,” the Doctor said.

“Oh stop flirting Doctor, you’ve already trapped my hearts,” Missy said, with a laugh.

The Doctor looked up and smiled, “and you mine.”

Missy looked into her eyes, and the Doctor was struck by the joy she saw shining at her. She almost wanted to tell Missy that they didn’t have to do this. The last thing she wanted was to take away that light in her eyes. She didn’t know what they might find, and the thought scared her on a one level - she suppressed her fear and smiled warmly.

“Well, lay down and get comfy.”

Missy shook her head, “yes, because probing around in my neural pathways is ever so relaxing.”

The Doctor smiled sadly and took her hand, “if this distresses you at all, I will stop. I promise.”

Picking up two wires, she gave Missy a reassuring look, “this is just to monitor you - I'm not going to do anything without your permission honey.” 

“Okay,” Missy said quietly, wishing she was anywhere but in the Doctor’s medical room at that moment.

“If your memories are this well buried - I could boost your pathways...is that ok?”

“Or…”Missy said hesitantly. “We create a temporal field around me, and you take a snapshot of what they did to me to take these memories in the first place.”

“Manipulate time inside your mind? Missy that’s risky. Let’s try this first,” the Doctor paused, thoughtful for a moment. “You said what _they_ did to you. You mean the guards?”

“I...must do...but,” she paused and met the Doctor’s eyes “….I don’t know what happened before I got put in that horror hotel. Like I said Doctor...I died on the forest floor.”

The Doctor felt a deep sense of unease, “the memories you do have may have been altered. You’re not a ghost Missy...you’re right here, with me. Can I take a look..gently?”

“Sure,” breathed Missy.

The Doctor patted the bed with a warm smile, and Missy somewhat reluctantly laid down, staring up at the ceiling.

“Ok, try to relax, “ the Doctor said, her hand resting on Missy’s shoulder with affection.

Missy took a deep breath, closed her eyes and steeled herself, “ok.”

The Doctor sat beside her, attaching electrodes and ensuring the monitor was recording her brain activity properly, before squeezing her shoulder reassuringly. She relaxed and focused - their new level of intimacy meant that connecting was easier, and she was certain that Missy was much stronger now so she would not need to be so concerned about what they were doing.

She took her hands, and closed her eyes also - brushing gently on the edges of Missy’s mind. She brushed Missy’s hands with her thumbs as she gently squeezed in reassurance, and almost immediately found that Missy let her in, the feeling overwhelming for a second as a rush of shared feelings and emotions crashed into the Doctor’s mind. She focused, and slipped past the myriad of feelings on the edge of Missy’s mind, and went in deeper.

The Doctor saw a tornado, racing through her mind - the wind swirling wildly as chaos and screaming filled the air. She focused and was suddenly filled with an intense bombardment of feeling. Then she realised a stark truth - that the tornado was not action and destruction and the Master’s plans tearing up everything else in their wake. It was instead, a deep regret, awash with feeling and emotion all racing around chaotically. Missy was simply overwhelmed by rising feelings that battered against her mind - lifetimes of not caring about the fallout of her actions had culminated in floodgates of emotion and feeling opening.

The Doctor felt totally overwhelmed as she shared the intensity of Missy’s emotional overload, and was barely aware of the tears that ran down her own face. She winced as people began to appear, more and more, their images darting about in the chaotic landscape of Missy’s mind.

It occurred then to the Doctor that she had never understood the depth of the journey Missy was taking. To turn from evil came with an intense responsibility for her actions, and for the Doctor, in the eye of the tornado, it felt a frightening place.

She concentrated and pushed past it all, moving to the calmer pathways that lay behind. In the distance tall red grass fields provided a pleasant peace, and she fought the urge to just run toward it. On through the calm bright day, she focused and moved through Missy’s memories, going back, far back, to the colony ship.

Their last conversation.

_Stand with me. It's all I've ever wanted._

_Me too. But no. Sorry. Just, no. But thanks for trying._

She had felt the blade Missy had concealed, and in one brief moment, something passed between them. She hadn’t known completely, what Missy’s plan was, but she knew that it could never be straightforward where the Master as concerned.

She walked away, into the forest, but this time she saw through her eyes as she stood by the lifts.

_I loved being you. Every second of it. Oh, the way you burn like a sun. Like a whole screaming world on fire. I remember that feeling, and I always will. And I will always miss it._

She watched, stunned as the events unfolded. Her hearts breaking as she saw the scene play out. The air felt thick around them, in that heavy, unreal way that being in the heart of a paradox seemed to cause. She wanted to scream at Missy not to be so nonchalant, not to turn her back.

_It's time to stand with the Doctor._

_No. Never. Missy! I will never stand with the Doctor!_

_Yes, my dear, you will._

The Doctor’s hearts were filled with a deep sense of regret and sorrow as she realised that Missy was coming to her, to be with her despite the odds for survival. She wanted to hold her and never let her go.

_This is our perfect ending. We shoot ourselves in the back._

Their laughter filled the Doctor’s mind, and she concentrated hard to not find everything else drowned in it. Soon, Missy fell silent, staring at the artificial sky, the pain in her back growing from an intense burn to a sudden chill, and then numb. The Doctor was almost brought from her focus by the sobs that racked her own body, until she felt a sudden calmness from Missy, and then blankness.

The Doctor gasped, and whispered, “you’re dying. There’s no regeneration energy...you died there? But, that doesn’t make sense. You’re here now.”

A sudden blackness swooped down and swarmed all around the Doctors every sense. It made no sense, No sense at all. She breathed slowly and tried hard to look past the blackness, but could only remain, settled there.

She was about to pull back from Missy’s mind, when she became aware of a faint buzzing sound at the edge of the blackness. She listened intently, and patiently as the buzzing increased and she began to distinguish voices, multiple voices, muffled and inaudible.

The blackness dissipated and through Missy’s eyes she saw a bright room - and felt a rush of confusion followed by panic as she yanked violently against restraints on her arms and legs. A hard warmth - metal that had warmed against skin. Warmth - life, Missy was alive and had been restrained for long enough that the metal felt warm...far too warm - likely against feverish skin.

Missy’s eyes darted around the room, alarmed, filled with the burning heat of fever, and a growing fear at the sound of voices outside of the room, edging closer.

The doors pushed open and Missy steeled herself, her mind racing with a desperate need to compose herself fast and form some kind of escape plan.

Suddenly a figure approached and a light was shined in Missy’s eyes, blindingly bright as it filled the images in the Doctor’s mind.

“Your cooperation won’t be necessary, but it would be easier on you.”

The Doctor was suddenly wrenched from her link to Missy as Missy jolted and let out a scream. She felt a blinding pain in her head momentarily at the speed of the wrench, and her eyes flew open, falling immediately to Missy, who was staring at the ceiling, dried tears staining her pale face.

“Missy?” the Doctor said softly. “Are you ok?”

Missy stared hard at the ceiling, her breathing fast and shallow, “what am I? I died, how can I be here?”

The Doctor reached out, one hand on her shoulder and the other stroking her hair, “it’s ok, it’s ok now. Whatever happened, you’re safe now, and you’re alive. Look honey, look at the monitor - normal, if not slightly elevated brain activity. After what we just did, I’d expect that.”

The Doctor paused and pulled out her sonic, scanning Missy.

“There see?” she said, angling the screw driver to Missy’s line of sight, despite the fact that her eyes did not move from some distant point on the ceiling. “Alive. You’re a living breathing Time Lady.”

The Doctor smiled and took her hand, “you’re certainly not a ghost, you are flesh and blood and right here with me. Has this opened any more memories? Do you know who had you there? Where you were? What happened next?”

Missy sat up, shakily, “no, no I don’t. I don’t want to do that again. It doesn’t matter how I got off that ship - maybe I died, and someone brought me back, maybe I was near death and someone saved me - I don’t know and I don’t want to. I don’t want to think about this again. Please, just forget about it all.”

The Doctor perched on the edge of the bed and pulled Missy into her arms, “oh honey I want to, I don’t want to cause you any pain. Something’s affecting your memory and you were working on my console without any idea what you were doing - this is significant, we _can’t_ ignore it.”

Missy curled up against the Doctor, melting into her arms, “I’m not going to let you do that again. I’m sorry, but I just want to move on.”

“But what if you can’t Missy?” she whispered. “What if you can’t?”

  
  
  


 


	5. Chapter 5

The Doctor gave space from the issue for a while, pondering at one point, whether Missy should be allowed to move on from whatever trauma had happened to her. She was happy and settled when the subject was not broached, and had appeared to settle in and feel comfortable with the Doctor’s TARDIS as her home. She had spent longer and longer periods in the music room that the Doctor had not frequented in some time, and lost herself for hours playing the most beautiful music that echoed through the TARDIS corridors. The sound alone was beginning to have a strong association with the Doctor’s own sense of being at home.

At times she had noticed her exploring other parts of the TARDIS, but merely with interest - she seemed to have little wish to engage with anywhere as fully as she had the music room. The Doctor wondered why that was, but gave her space to feel comfortable and to feel that she was home.

They spent time together in the TARDIS gardens, and library, and at times Missy would join her in the lab, interested in the equipment and projects the Doctor was working on. She joined in more and more, and on those days, the Doctor felt at her happiest - feeling closer to her than she had in a very long time. They laughed, encouraged each other and discussed theory for experiments they could conduct. The Doctor was happy - it felt like the lifetimes between them had faded away and they were two Time Lord’s at the academy, with promises and hope for their future together.

She loved the closeness now they both felt finally opened enough to share, but deep in her mind, she felt a brewing uncertainty that they had not explored what had happened to Missy. She hated to break the spell that it felt like they were under, but she firmly believed that Missy needed to discover the truth, even if only because it was surely her _right_ to know what had happened.

A few weeks after the Doctor had entered her mind, they lay together, wrapped up in each others arms. Missy looked into her eyes with an openness that the Doctor had found disarming. The Doctor kissed her head and told her that she was happy, laying together, closer than they had ever felt.

Missy reached up in an instant and stroked her cheek before placing a soft kiss on her lips. The Doctor sighed and returned her kiss, and their embrace tightened as they rolled in each others arms and kissed each other deeply.

As they made love, the Doctor wondered whether something terrible really could be in the background, as things surely seemed far too perfect to be true.

The Doctor did not have to wait long for her fears to surface, when she awoke some hours later and rolled over, her arm finding a cold empty space where Missy had lain wrapped in her arms. She felt a flash of concern instantly, wondering how long she had been gone. She climbed out of bed and pulled her dressing gown on, tightening the sash and making her way to the console room.

She almost breathed a sigh a relief when she found it empty, but this was quickly followed by a real concern. The corridors were silent, and so she decided not to try the music room.

“It’s a big TARDIS to lose a sleepwalking Time Lord in,” she said to herself and then paused, deciding that critical areas were probably best checked first.

As she walked on, she silently admonished herself for only locking Missy out of the controls and doors. She really wished she had done more than a basic bio lock, because the rest of the TARDIS really was wide open to her.

She hated feeling concerned about that at all - she loved her and trusted her but she was also very aware of their complacency about Missy’s memory issues. She sighed, wishing she had pushed her more to explore the issue - something very significant had happened to her, and ignoring it was not doing any good for anyone.

It took a frustrating and concerning twenty minutes to locate her. She found her sitting on the floor, her dressing gown tied quite loosely and haphazardly, two large panels pulled off as she worked on the circuitry with a small device the Doctor had not seen before.

The Doctor approached her cautiously, and realising that Missy had not noticed her presence, she decided to observe her silently for a while and try to work out what she was doing.

It was certainly complex - operational pathways of the TARDIS were being re routed and systems were interacting in different ways. She realised what Missy was doing made little sense by itself and that it must be connected to a larger process.

She was brought from her thoughts when Missy placed a smouldering tool on the ground a little too close to the circuitry and a spark which threatened to become something more caught her attention. Missy was unaware, and such a careless act and lack of awareness was most unlike her - the Doctor stepped toward her and crouched down, moving the tool out of the way of the circuitry.

“Missy?” she said quietly. “Can you hear me?”

When she got no response, she attempted to make eye contact. When this proved fruitless she scanned her with her sonic screwdriver and frowned at the hugely increased spike of electromagnetic energy coming from her.

“Missy, wake up,” the Doctor said, watching her in alarm as she worked to access deeper TARDIS systems.

The Doctor snapped her fingers in front of Missy’s face and and frowned when she didn't even blink.

“Missy, come on wake up. Whatever you’re doing you have to stop.”

Missy gave no indication that she had heard her at all, and the Doctor grasped her shoulders, turning her away from the circuitry to face her.

“Missy? Listen to my voice - come on honey I need you to stop whatever you’re doing and look at me. Missy please. I have to stop you.”

Missy simply turned back to the access panel and continued. At a loss, the Doctor grasped her shoulders more firmly and tried to pull her away.

Missy’s eyes found hers finally, but with a blankness that unnerved her. She lunged at the Doctor, pushing her to the ground, her hands moving to her throat and grasping tightly.

The Doctor froze in shock and found it impossible to react at first, completely taken back by Missy’s move. A deep flash of fear shot through her as she struggled to breathe and could only focus on the cold detached look in Missy’s eyes - so far from the warmth and happiness she had become used to.

She scratched at Missy’s hands, desperate to break her grip, digging her nails in hard enough that she drew blood, but still Missy gave no reaction. So she began to fight and struggle to give herself leverage to reach into her dressing gown pocket and pull out a sleep patch. In a panic, just as her vision began to fade and the usually comforting sounds of the TARDIS became a muffled noise, she felt the breath leaving her body as her airways constricted and she became lightheaded. Moving her hand up with her last conscious effort, she slapped it against Missy’s neck and after a few alarming seconds, she suddenly felt herself gasping for breath as Missy released her grip of her throat and dropped down beside her unconscious.

The Doctor rolled over, her hand massaging her throat as she gasped for air and tried to recover her breath. She turned to her side, moving to the optimal position for her airways and remained still and calm as she recovered. Her gaze fell to Missy in dismay. She really was at a complete loss as to how to help her or even to have the slightest idea of what was going on.

It was considerably more difficult to lift and carry Missy now that they were a similar size and weight, but she eventually managed, with some anti grav assistance to move her to he medical room, her hearts heavy as she restrained her to the bed and then set up a containment field around it.

She left the containment field down and brought a chair over, sitting beside her as she watched the alarming electro magnetic spike in her brain activity wavering. She reached out and stroked her hair then bend down and kissed her forehead.

“Whatever’s happening to you, I will help. I will fix this,” she said as she paused and stroked her cheek affectionately before taking her hand.

The Doctor spent some time observing her brain activity and watching as spikes grew smaller and her responses appeared to take over. As much as she hated it, the Doctor left her restrained, deciding to adopt caution until she could talk to her and know for sure that Missy was awake and aware.

She ran every test she could think of, but nothing was helpful - the only things she was certain of, was that Missy was not aware of what she was doing.

She had stepped out of the room for only a short while when Missy awoke. She cursed herself immediately for her timing when she came in and saw Missy struggling against the restraints and crying. Moving straight to her, she dropped the containment field and took out her sonic, scanning her as she sat beside her and looked into her eyes.

“Missy, it’s ok. I just need to check you’re in the driving seat here right now before I can release you. Do you know what happened?”

“Why…” Missy said as she fought to control her tears, “why have you done this to me? I’m your _wife_.”

“I hate this, _believe me,_ but you attacked me. You were doing something with the TARDIS systems...what do you remember?”

Missy stared at her as if she was speaking an untranslatable language, her tears falling freely.

“I haven't…. done anything...and why would I attack you? I didn’t attack you! Doctor let me go!”

“Tell me first,” the Doctor began, feeling her hearts break. “What do you remember? What do you know about what happened to you? You are resistant to me going back in your mind...why? Please don’t conceal anything, I need to help you.”

“I’m not concealing anything!” Missy exclaimed in dismay. “Doctor, I was asleep, in bed with you, and I woke up here. I don’t know what you think happened but I have no wish to sabotage your TARDIS or attack you. Please...release me.”

The Doctor hesitated and reached for the restraints, releasing her ankles and wrists. She stepped back as Missy got straight up from the bed and stared at her, a mixture of hurt and anger.

“You had no right to do that to me - did you stop for even a moment to consider how frightening it would be to wake up restrained after the hell I’ve been through?” Missy stared hard, her tears subsiding as her anger won through.

The Doctor felt a flash of regret as she realised she hadn’t considered the impact at all. She felt a deep sense of guilt when she realised that she had been happy to not discuss it with her - helping Missy to not face what had happened to her and the impact it had on her was not doing her any good at all. It was surely the easy road to not face a harsh reality, but she realised, as heartbreaking as it was, that Missy had endured an intense trauma that nether of them completely understood, and as her wife, she needed to help her through that, not assist her to pretend it hadn't happened.

“Missy, I’m sorry,“  the Doctor said reaching a hand to her shoulder, and feeling dismayed as Missy stepped back, “I would have just used a containment field - but I wanted to monitor your brain activity and I couldn’t do it from the other side of a containment field.”

“I’m _fine_. Look at me. I don’t even remember what you claim I did. I’m going to the music room now, I really need to be anywhere but here….Oh, is that ok, or did you want to handcuff me to the piano so I can’t leave the room?”

The Doctor raised her hands in surrender, “‘let’s just..breathe and get some tea and sit down and talk about this. Something is wrong Missy, and if we don’t work out what it is, I don’t know what might happen.”

“Right now Doctor, I am going to the music room, and if I feel like taking tea with you later, I will. I need space to think. Just...grant me that, _please_.”

“Ok,” the Doctor whispered. “But please - come to me when you’re ready. Whatever happened to you is affecting you now, so you can’t ignore it. The gaps in your memories are very significant and we have to find out what exactly happened to you.”

“Yeah, well maybe we can just use a containment field at night to stop me sleep walking. Then we can forget about all this - whatever happened, I don’t want to know, I don’t want to go back to it and I don’t care how I got off that ship. I care about the here and now Doctor. As long as I’m alive, I don’t much care how it happened. I just want to forget about it move on.”

As Missy turned and left the room, the Doctor’s gaze lingered on the door as it closed behind her.

“I don’t think you can,” she said sadly.


	6. Chapter 6

The Doctor was somewhat calmed by the sound of the piano echoing through her TARDIS - but as much as Missy was likely immersed in her music and feeling better not thinking about what was happening to her, the Doctor could not relax completely.

She decided to spend some time in the library, remembering a very detailed book on memory recall somewhere in the depths of her library. As she climbed a ladder to search the titles, she began to wonder about Missy’s TARDIS - her library was more expansive at one point, and she wondered if perhaps, answers might be found there more easily.

Selecting a book she climbed down and took a seat by an unlit fireplace, pondering why Missy wasn’t more eager to locate her TARDIS - if anything it felt evasive.

The Doctor sighed and silently admonished herself for feeling suspicious. In all the time in the vault, Missy had not told her where her TARDIS was either - she put it down to the reduced autonomy she had in that situation. Letting her keep control of some things seemed healthier than taking even more.

Flicking through the book she could see nothing she didn’t already know - she sighed and closed it, placing it on the table beside her and looking into the unlit fireplace.

She made her way to a pleasant garden, and prepared tea on a table overlooking an ornamental hedge maze. Satisfied that she had made a quite relaxing setting she put a few more cakes on the elegant metal cake stand - knowing it was exactly Missy’s style.

She looked out across the garden, lost in thought while she considered whether Missy would even join her. Her thoughts were eventually broken by the sound of a chair scraping on the stone floor beside her.

She smiled, still focused on the maze, “I love hearing you play - feeling better?”

Missy smiled sadly as the Doctor turned to face her.

“As better as I can be. I’m not hiding anything, I really don’t know what happened and I don’t know that I want to.”

“Oh I can understand that - but you can't move or from something if it’s affecting you know. We need to get to the bottom of this - the buzzing sound - that’s the only transition we have between you essentially dying and waking up in that place. Then you remember living on the planet. Then being a prisoner. That’s a lot of gaps. They said you lived there for 5 years - that sound right?” the Doctor dropped several sugar cubes into her tea and watched her with interest.

“No,” Missy said quietly. “It doesn’t. Linear time is tedious - and my memory is shot to hell, but why would I stay there for that long? It’s a boring planet.”

“Was your TARDIS there with you?”

“No,” Missy frowned. “At least I don’t think so - why would it? I wouldn’t have stuck around there if I had a way out.”

“So, you didn’t choose to live there? The guards said you had lived there for five years. What if they are part of this? They either made that up or they were told that by whoever took you there. Missy,” she turned to her, deep in thought. “Who brought you to that prison?”

“I don’t know. I really don’t remember. I was there, living on that boring backward planet, then I…”  Missy closed her eyes and fought hard to remember. “The last thing I remember was the pain of being shot, laying on the ground - the sky above me. Then flowers, in my garden. I know I had a life there, I had...work..associates…”

The Doctor watched her, “what kind of work?”

“I don’t know…”

“Do you remember anything at all about your work?” the Doctor said.

No...not even where I worked. Just my garden,” Missy said, with growing unease.

“What did you like about it? You said it was a backward planet - what made it backward?”

“I don't know...I liked...my garden,” Missy said uncertainly.

“Associates - you said associates. What are their names? Describe them? What did you do with them? Did they visit you in prison? Tell me anything about them, anything at all.”

Missy stared ahead of her, past the hedges and into the horizon.

“I can’t,” she whispered. “I don’t recall anything at all.”

“Missy,” the Doctor said, turning to her, her mind racing with possibilities. “What if you never lived on that planet at all. What if that was a false memory put in your mind? You don’t have the detail! You only know you lived there and that you had a life, but you can’t tell me anything about it. We need to go there - visit the place you think you lived in, because I can almost guarantee that you didn’t live there at all.”

Missy met her eyes with hesitancy, “I’m not going back there. It's in the past now - just let it go.”

“Ok, look, as much as I'd like to that we both know I can't. So how about we start slowly - let’s look at some images of the planet, see if we can find where you lived, and anything you recognise.”

Missy took a deep breath and let it out steadily, “ok, let’s do that.”

The Doctor stood and offered Missy her hand. Missy simply stared at her hand, and reached for a biscuit. 

“You mean now?” she said. “What’s the rush - there’s at least another cup each in the teapot.”

“Missy,” the Doctor said softly. “Let’s just check this out, come on.”

Missy sighed and took her hand, popping the biscuit in her mouth as she reluctantly got to her feet and let the Doctor lead her to the console room.

The Doctor got straight to work, bringing up a large screen and cycling through texts detailing the planets history. She frowned and glanced at Missy.

“This hardly seems like a boring residential planet...it’s fairly desolate. I only visited the prison - it was surrounded by a small basic town but all based within the boundaries of the compound. My TARDIS materialised just outside, nothing else noticeable for miles….look,” she brought up a heat map, and stared at the screen. “Missy, there is nothing else there. The planet is not inhabited. Only life signs are within the perimeter of the prison compound.”

“I lived in a house, in the middle of countryside,” Missy whispered.

“You couldn't have - the terrain is small patches of dying forest around the compound  in patchy areas but the rest is barren land. You didn't live in a house with a garden. They must have supplies of food synthetically produced because they aren't growing crops, yet alone maintaining gardens. You didn't live here, you couldn’t have.”

Missy looked at her in deep concern, “then that was a false memory?”

“No. I don’t think it is. They would have implanted it properly - given it substance to make it seem realistic. I think you just started to believe the story the guards repeated to people, just because your mind had gaps that needed filling in.”

“No, Doctor, I sometimes imagined my garden, I felt safe there.”

“Perhaps you needed it to be real - so you could survive what was happening to you...and what had been done to you. You needed to hold on to something that felt safe and happy and maybe your mind didn’t need it to be a genuine memory. You just had to hold onto something.”

Missy hit a button and the screen switched off.

“These bastards rampaged through my mind - they hurt me, they almost destroyed me. Sleep walking, even to the point of working on your TARDIS unknowingly - imagining a place I lived where I felt happy - this is all explainable Doctor. You’re making something more out of it all and that’s only dragging me back to it. Is it not possible that I saved myself somehow, then someone somewhere took revenge on me for any number of things I have done in my past. Then put me in that place as an act of revenge?”

“It’s _possible_...but, why cant you remember how you left the ship?” the Doctor asked.

Missy sighed in frustration, “perhaps it was trauma. I was in that place for 6 months - they repeatedly entered my mind, is it any wonder I imagined a home? A life? Something safe? Please, Doctor, just drop this. We can take precautions with my sleepwalking but I need to move on, dwelling on the horrors I've endured over my lives has never helped me at all. Just let me be happy, and enjoy our life together - it’s taken us so many lives to get to this point. I’m sure I’ll stop sleepwalking eventually - put in some safeguards, and I’ll be fine.”

The Doctor hesitated and pulled her into her arms. “Honey I’m sorry, I don't want to take you back to all that - I’m just not sure it’s as possible as you want it to be, to just move on.”

“And here I was thinking you were the optimist around here Doctor,” Missy said, laughing her concern off.

Weeks went by, and the safeguards the had installed appeared to keep Missy from any further incidents. The Doctor wasn’t satisfied that this meant she was ok - it merely suggested to her that they had found ways to circumvent the symptoms she was acting out. Nevertheless, she did feel her guard dropping, and even contemplated dropping the containment field they slept within, and simply monitoring her. 

They began to travel and the experience was beginning to feel idyllic once more. Missy did not share her enthusiasm for some of the places she took her to, but they so often found common ground in the things they shared. 

The Doctor’s penchant for running off to save random unknown people did grate on Missy’s patience somewhat, especially when it interfered with their plans, but she tolerated it with amusement, and even accompanied her on occasion, providing the Doctor with useful devices to help her out of the myriad of situations that Missy realised the Doctor lacked significant contingency planning for. The Doctor insisted that her approach had worked fine for all this time but Missy pressed her to at least conceal some devices to have options to use short range teleports and a sonic backup. The Doctor had to admit her ideas were sound and she began to realise that when they worked together they were quite a powerful force. Missy however, lacked the interest in actually using that power for what she considered pointless distress call chasing.

The Doctor almost believed her until one day, some weeks later, they had liberated a town from time manipulating invaders, and Missy had befriended a small group of children, teaching them all manner of inappropriate things, such as using teleports to cheat at hide and seek, and how to cheat at the visiting fairground that came by shortly after they had liberated the town. She clearly enjoyed herself and the Doctor smiled, not making a point of mentioning it, when a child threw her arms Missy and Missy found herself briefly returning the hug.

The Doctor had never felt so happy and so hopeful that Missy really had changed. That they could simply have a life together, but deep in her hearts, she knew something was wrong and could not simply be ignored. Something, sometime, was eventually going to crack.


	7. Chapter 7

**Earth, England, 2018.**

It was a distress call from UNIT. Missy chewed her lip as she observed the screen. In the weeks that had passed, she had installed an emergency information system - tired of the Doctor running off into disaster with so little preparation. Her system was robust and informative and helped the Doctor to have backup plans and solid knowledge before even stepping outside.

“I don’t think they will be too welcoming Doctor, I may sit this one out. I can observe from inside here - help you if you need it.”

The Doctor felt considerably uncertain as she looked at the screen, “we talked about exactly this a few days ago. We talked long into the night - you have experience here that I don’t. I can talk to them, ensure they know you’re not a threat. You have knowledge and experience on this one that I only skim the surface with. I’ll go out and talk to them.”

Missy watched as she left, a bad feeling creeping up on her.

It was almost two hours later when the Doctor finally returned. Missy had kept an eye on her, but was assured that she was merely with UNIT and nothing that interesting was happening, and so sat with a pot of tea and a book, keeping half an eye on the monitors.

The doors opened and she looked up, meeting the Doctor’s eyes. “All done? Can we go now?”

“You know full well I’m not done - you’re right next to the monitors, you can see the alien threat is just as serious. Two hours is how long it has taken me to convince Kate Lethbridge Stewart that you wont hurt anyone and that we need your help.”

“Oh, well have to say I didn't think you’d get anywhere with _that_ line of reasoning, I assume there are conditions?” Missy said suspiciously.

The Doctor sighed, “yeah, but they know they need your expertise and they trust me that I’m doing the right thing here.”

Missy laughed, “who are you trying to convince here?”

She stood and brushed crumbs from her skirt, “ok, what are these conditions then?”

 

Her patience was _really_ being tested.

She hadn't complained when the Doctor had, under the watchful eye of UNIT (not that they actually had a clue what the Doctor was doing), placed a security bracelet on her. She stood, looking bored as the Doctor explained to the Brigadier that the bracelet would track Missy and allow a short range teleport to be activated to bring her back if she tried to leave.

She also didn't complain about the countless guns pointed in her direction at every corner they turned in the building, neither did she complain about the fact that she hadn’t actually finished her tea.

So when presented with something resembling a floor to ceiling cage and told to get inside, she felt more than a little justified to complain. The Doctor cast her an apologetic glance and she sighed, walking inside.

At the sound of the door closing and a myriad of locks securing her inside, she spun around and stared hard at the Brigadier.

“If you want me to help this ridiculous planet, then you will give me more than a chair, desk and workstation inside a cage.”

The Brigadier glanced doubtfully at the Doctor, “I hardly call this change if she’s making demands when the fate of this planet hangs in the balance.”

Missy stifled a scream and threw her arms in the air in frustration, “I _want_ to help - if this planet burns, then I will have a very grumpy and sad Doctor, and I don’t want that, so I have voluntary come here to fix this stupid mess you’ve left your annoying planet wide open for. If you're going to lock me in here, I at least want tea, and biscuits and to not have to look at all these _tiresome_ guns pointed at me from every direction. I’m in a locked cage. The bullets would ricochet off - it’s overkill...quite literally!”

The Doctor raised her hands, “ok Missy, tea and biscuits we can do, and I think you have a good point about the guns.”

The Brigadier sighed and told the soldiers to lower their weapons, but remain vigilant, the Doctor then feeling a little more relaxed.

“Ok, we can have tea together while you brief us, and then Missy can work on the systems while I take a look at what you wanted to show me.”

Later, the Doctor and the Brigadier sat at a table placed next to the cage door, with Missy sat on the other side, they each drunk their tea, as the background was explained. Missy found it tiresome, wondering if the humans ever really bothered to sort _anything_ out for themselves, or merely waited for the Doctor to come and fix everything. It was ironic really, considering that that was exactly the approach the Doctor took with her TARDIS - carry on, hoping nothing goes wrong, and then rely on Missy to fix it when after years of neglect, the TARDIS complained.

Eventually, Missy got to work, hacking into the systems of the alien threat, and extracting attack plans from a hard drive UNIT had seized from a crashed landing pod. It was a little more challenging than she had expected, which she was somewhat grateful for, and she had immersed into the work, eventually giving up on her game of tormenting the soldiers standing guard with idle threats. The threats were merely for show, but they didn't need to know that, and it gave her a sense of power considering her confinement.

She sat back, sending all the data to the Doctor’s terminal, and smiling as the Doctor flashed a message up on her screen congratulating her for being a genius and telling her how lucky she was to have such a clever wife.

Glancing at the monitors, she ate her last biscuit as she watched the data, realising that the alien threat was being handled, and they could soon leave. She decided that this was the worst part - waiting around bored.

She began to fiddle with her bracelet, smiling at the soldiers who she assumed hadn't been briefed on what it actually was. Looking up at the cage door, she contemplated five different ways to to open it and step outside, but realised there would be  mass panic and yet more guns pointed at her. It really was ever so tiresome.

As the time dragged on, she casually pulled out a hair pin - actually a small device working on a sonic frequency, and activated a pulse to remove the bracelet. Feeling pleased with herself, she held the hairpin and considered for a moment how to combine the two devices and create a weapon.

It would not be advisable. Not at all.

Moments later she heard the monitor behind her beeping and turned to scrutinise it, frowning at as the screen scrolled rapidly through unrelated text in multiple languages. She watched in fascination as the language turned to Gallifreyan - and stopped.

In moments she felt a wave of dizziness, and grabbed the desk, blinking as her mind was filled with a low buzzing noise and bright light.

The light faded and she blinked, looking around confused as she now stood on the other side of the cage - the door open and yet more guns pointed at her from every conceivable angle. The Brigadier marched over to her and the Doctor stood motionless, staring at her in shock.

Too confused too react in time, she felt the Brigadier pull her arms back and restrain her wrists behind her with heavy metal cuffs and take a tight hold of her arm. Her mind was foggy, as the voices around her - muffled and angry, slowly began to make sense.

“..and you wanted _less_ security - the Master has always played you and you have never learned Doctor. These deaths are on me because I let her in here. I am not making this mistake again, she is not leaving.”

“If you couldn’t hold her in this cage then how do you expect to keep her as a prisoner here? You can’t. Let’s just stop. Think. Breathe. Ok?” she turned to Missy. “What happened? Missy two people are dead, talk to me.”

Missy met her eyes in confusion, “what? I.... Doctor?”

The Doctor stepped in front of her, her hands taking a hold of her shoulders gently as she looked into her eyes. “You broke out of there, made a weapon and killed two of the soldiers who were standing guard.”

“No, no I didn’t. I didn’t come here to kill anyone...I was…” she looked at the Doctor in dismay.

“Ok, Missy, tell me what happened,” the Doctor said calmly, despite her hearts racing.

“I...sent you the data...you replied...and...that’s it, and then your lovely friends here were all pointing guns at me.”

“You’re recording this room I assume?” the Doctor asked. I need to see.”

“I am not leaving her for one moment Doctor, I will ensure she is secured before we review the footage.”

The Doctor protested, and Missy remained unusually quiet, not complaining as they took her to a windowless cell, divested her of her coat and accessories, and cuffed her hands in front of her, securing her to a wall with a long chain. The Doctor had pocketed most of her accessories and ensured Missy knew she had put her ring on, wearing it next to her own.

The Doctor sat next to her on the bed, and cupped her face with her hand, “it’s ok honey, I’ll figure this out and take you home. Sit tight and wait or me and please don’t escape, I don't want you to get hurt.”

The Brigadier watched the Doctor’s interaction with Missy warily, their increased physicality and affection surprising her. Well aware that they had always been closer than they probably allowed UNIT to see, she was surprised that the Doctor was being so open about it.

It was many hours later when the Doctor finally returned to the cell, the Brigadier close behind her. The Doctor sat down next to her and placed an arm around her shoulders, before turning and taking her face in her hands, anger bubbling insider her as she noticed fresh bruising on her cheek.

"What happened?" the Doctor said, rage boiling within her.

"I have two injured guards, both of whom I had to relieve of their duty for at least the rest of the day," the Brigadier said.

"I was asking Missy," the Doctor said, feeling instantly protective.

Missy raised an eyebrow and smirked, "both of them? What _babies_! I guessed the one I kicked in the crotch might need a little rest but I only _bit_ the other one. Bit of ointment and back to work, surely?"

"He required stitches!" the Brigadier said.

"Well, I required to not be roughed up, so I had to remind them who they were dealing with," Missy said with a smug smile. 

“You think for a moment I would let her remain in your custody - she has too many people here who would feel justified to harm her. Whatever your argument, this proves she can’t remain here. I will keep her in my custody, take her off earth and help her. Do what I can to make sure this doesn’t happen again,” the Doctor rose and stared hard at the Brigadier, “and you better hope I don’t find out who struck her, because you _don't_ want to see me get angry.”

Missy sat back as casually as she could given her restraints, and smiled warmly at her wife,"thanks honey."

Kate finally relented, making a big show of not even letting Missy leave the cell without cuffing her hands behind her back. Missy rolled her eyes at the annoyance, as the Doctor kept hold of her arm, ushering her out of the UNIT building as fast as possible. Getting inside her TARDIS, and closing the doors she quickly dematerialised and placed her hands on the condole, leaning heavily, suddenly feeling exhausted as she looked up and met Missy’s eyes.

"I'm sorry - you're ok?"

"I'd be fine if you'd uncuff me Doctor."

The Doctor met her eyes with a deep sadness as Missy stood, her hands still cuffed behind her back, tears forming fast.

 “I swear to you, I didn’t know - I had no memory of doing any of that,” Missy paused as she took a shaky breath, battling the tears that threatened to spill fast.

The Doctor stood and crossed the room to her, stopping in front of her as she met her eyes with concern. “We can’t ignore this anymore. People have died. I have to take precautions - I’m sorry, but something is very wrong with you and I have to figure out what that is and what we can do to stop it. I need to keep you secure while we figure this out.”

Missy felt a sob forming in deep in her chest and looked down at the ground, hating the look of sadness in the doctor’s eyes. “So I’m your prisoner now? I thought...we were long past that. I didn’t mean to hurt anyone Doctor.”

The Doctor felt tears forming in her own eyes as Missy started to cry. She stepped behind her and affixed another bracelet to her wrists, before removing the cuffs. Standing back in front of her, she took a steadying breath.

“I need the device you used…”she paused with a sigh. “Ah...you don’t know what I mean - the device you have disguised as a hair pin, you used it to turn the security bracelet into a weapon - and to open the cage. I need you to give it to me - and be honest about anything else you have concealed.”

Missy shakily reached up, taking out two hair pins and placing them in the Doctor’s hand, she stared hard at the ground, feeling devastated at what their life felt like it was going to become.

“It’s sonic...the other one...it’s a TCE...I had no intention of using it..”

The Doctor tensed and her eyes widened briefly. “A TCE? How long have you had this?”

Missy turned her attention to the wall behind the Doctor, “I always have.”

“Always? You mean you had it in that prison?”

“Yes, in there - a harmless hairpin, no one took it.”

“What I mean is how did you get hold of a TCE? Where did it come from? This matters - you remember so little,” the Doctor said.

“I remember _that_ part, “Missy said, taking a steady breath. “I’ve always had it - before Skaro, before Cybermen - nobody ever examines hairpins...and...neither did you.”

The Doctor stepped to the side slightly, trying to get eye contact but Missy determinedly evaded her.

“Neither did I? You mean you had this in the vault? All that time, you had a deadly weapon?”

“Yes,” Missy whispered. “But I didn’t _use_ the deadly weapon, did I?

The Doctor closed her eyes and sighed, “Missy, you assured me you weren’t concealing anything. Why did you not use it to escape execution? Why did you just...wait.”

Missy wiped at her tears and met the Doctor’s eyes, “because I was waiting for you.”

The Doctor’s gaze softened as she took in the meaning behind her words, “and not as some plan involving me to rescue you...you waited for me because you needed me. You could have escaped in all that time if you wanted to...thank you for staying - I just wish you’d given me this.”

“I’m giving it to you know,” Missy whispered through her tears. “I have nothing else - giving you this means I have no means of defence, no protection, and I can’t remember when I have ever felt like that.”

The Doctor pulled her into her arms and kissed her head, “you’re safe here with me, you don’t need to protect yourself - let me protect you instead.”

“Ok,” Missy whispered tearfully, her arms slipping around the Doctor and holding her tightly.

Eventually, as Missy’s tears calmed and her trembling ceased, the Doctor stepped back, her hand moving to her shoulder and rubbing soothingly. “We have to talk about how we handle this Missy. I’ve bio locked you from most of the TARDIS - this happened while you were awake this time, so a containment field while you sleep isn’t enough. You need to stay with me at all times - if I need to go to a part of TARDIS I can’t let you access, then I will put you somewhere secure - only for as long as necessary. I just can't leave you alone...while we work this out. I don't want you to feel...you’re not my prisoner...I just,” the Doctor sighed. “You attacked me - you killed two people - precautions are essential now. But we will fix this, I won’t rest until we do.”

The Doctor took her hand and reached up with her other hand, stroking the side of her face. Missy leaned into her touch, crying quietly.

“I promise Missy, we will make you better, but we have to answer the questions we've been ignoring. We have to know what happened to you."

 


	8. Chapter 8

Missy stood and watched as the Doctor worked at a console in the medical room, feeling as though her hands may as well have still been cuffed behind her back, given the containment field she stood in.

She understood what the Doctor was working on and felt nothing short of frustrated that she couldn’t just join her and work on the process alongside her. There was a more efficient way of reaching her goal, but Missy was too emotionally tired to explain it, and simply stood in silence, watching the monitors.

The Doctor eventually turned around and gave her a forced smile, wanting to show her warmth but feeling too struck by the sadness in Missy’s eyes to quite manage it with genuine feeling.

“I’m going to need some equipment - I’d rather we take it by teleport, and then I can return it afterwards. I don’t want to take you to the planets surface and then not have access to everything else I need up here. I’ll need to materialise and then go out to scope out what we need. I’ll make you comfortable in there while I’m gone...ok?”

“Sure,” Missy whispered. “That’s fine."

The Doctor put a chair into the containment field, along with some mismatched fluffy cushions that Missy hadn’t seen before, and handed her an armful of books, a notepad and some pencils.

“Great, thanks,” Missy said, sounding very far from ok with the arrangement.

The Doctor reached up and stroked her cheek, “I won’t leave you here for long, promise. Then we can start to solve this. I _am_ going to help you, and i’m sorry for how things have to be at the moment.”

 

Soon she was alone in the containment field - the dimensions smaller than the one she had become accustomed to in the years she had spent in the vault. This one was situated across a quarter of the floor space - and it felt somewhat claustrophobic once the Doctor had brought a large chair into it and reduced the floor space further. It was a temporary measure, she knew that, but it didn't stop her hating it any less.

She sat down and glanced at the books- the Doctor had appeared to have grabbed a random selection, but she gave brief attention to a title on temporal physics. Inspired momentarily she was grateful for the paper, and worked on some rough plans for a device. When she soon became bored, she dropped the notepad to the ground and pulled her legs up onto the chair, hugging a green fluffy cushion which clashed with her purple attire.

It felt like hours before she finally heard a noise from within the TARDIS to indicate the Doctor had returned. She felt a sense of relief instantly, hoping her confinement could be over soon.

The Doctor returned and felt an instant regret at how subdued Missy appeared, and smiled, clearing a space on the floor as she proceeded to teleport the now, borrowed equipment into the lab. Once everything was prepared she lowered the containment field and took Missy’s hand.

“Ok, lay down on the bed. Somehow someone else is pulling the strings - activating an embedded process or a physical device that can be used to control your actions without leaving a memory trace, That alone - is sinister. So...we look for a physical device first.”

Missy reluctantly laid down and tensed as the Doctor gently took hold of her wrist - I have to take some kind of a precaution in case I accidentally trigger whatever it is that’s doing this. I won't restrain you for longer than we need honey.”

Missy sat up, “no, I’m not letting you do that.”

“Missy please, it’s only for a short while - and maybe...it might help with your memory recall.”

“To recreate that scene?” Missy stared at her in shock. “No, absolutely not. Whatever happened to me, I am sure I don’t want to relive it.”

“This part is just a deep scan of your brain - all you have to do is lay still. Then we can decide what to do next but whatever happens, I am going to need to restrain you.”

Missy felt tears burning behind her eyes and just stared indignantly at her.

“Then I won’t cooperate with this,” she said.

The Doctor felt a flash of dismay, not wanting conflict.

“Missy, we don’t know what triggers this to happen - the scan might - there’s no way to tell until we do it. You’ll be awake, and you can look at the screens with me, help me work this out.”

Missy took a deep breath and released it slowly.

“Fine,” she said. “If it makes you _feel_ better.”

“It don't feel good about this Missy - but it would be so much worse if I had to do anything more forceful if I needed to stop you from doing something. Let’s make this as easy as we can for both of us honey.”

Missy chose not to reply and simply laid down on the bed, staring up at the ceiling as she moved her arms into position. The Doctor secured her wrists and moved her hand lovingly to her hair, stroking gently. 

“We will figure this out, I promise. Are you ready?”

“Yep, let’s take a look inside my brain,” Missy said. “Can’t wait, I’ve been SO looking forward to this _all_ day.”

The Doctor smiled sadly, and positioned the equipment, placing electrodes on Missy’s skin, and larger flat metal devices. Missy turned her attention from the ceiling to the monitors, and watched as the Doctor began to explore her neural pathways.

“Now, when I went in before, what we needed to reach was buried very deeply - my theory, is that something was done to you, before you were put in that prison. Six months is enough time for you to be weakened from constant psychological and mental attacks. Then you start to believe the backstory created about why you were there,” she paused, pulses of light moving deeper into Missy’s brain. “You only get out of there if someone purchases you - I think they had a buyer in mind, but I got there first and money talks. A little deeper now...it’s all very healthy...from my knowledge of neuroscience anyway. What do you think?”

“Yep, I am quite fit and well. So that throws your theory out of the window and makes me a lovely random psychotic killer with memory black outs. Sorry. Looks like I’m still the bad guy Doctor.”

“No, you are not. You are…” the Doctor frowned as readings began to spike on the screen. “Lay still...it’s got something...something...that shouldn’t be there.”

Missy stared hard at the screen. “That’s not organic.”

The Doctor exchanged a worried glance with her, “no, it isn’t is it. You’re not a psychotic killer Missy. My money’s on this..whatever it is..being a receiver of some sort. This needs to be deactivated or removed.”

“No, no, no. You are not attempting some kind of brain surgery on me. Deactivate it - sonic nanotech could do that easily. We can make a device, it won’t need to go too deeply.”

“Or, we leave it.”

“Leave it?” Missy said, her eyes widening. “Doctor I want that thing switched off.”

“As soon as the connection breaks - whoever did this to you will know, and then we have no way of finding out what happened to you and what they were planning for you. We could establish an interface - covertly, and trace it.”

“No, absolutely not - sonic nanotech. Least invasive way to get deep enough and just switch the invader in my head off.”

“You need it out of your head completely, not just switched off - you would never know if it would just reactivate - but short term - we need to see if we can trace a signal.”

Missy sighed and looked at the Doctor, “I’ve got a better idea.”

“What’s that?”

Instead of risking activating whatever this time bomb inside my head is - we trace me before it was so nicely shoved into my brain.

The Doctor frowned, “how”

“We could go and look,” Missy said quietly.

“Look where?” the Doctor asked.

“At the forest. Its the one sure way to know how I got off that ship. Take a look and see what happened. Watch me die perhaps?” Missy laughed flatly and averted her eyes to the screen.

The Doctor watched her with concern, “can we do that without getting stuck there?”

“Sure we can, we can go in prepared, ensure our exit route. Put a transmitter on me...the other me, and track her if she leaves somehow.”

“That’s a good plan,” the Doctor said, then picked up her sonic, adjusting the settings before aiming it at Missy. “If I was going to do that, I would implant a small transmitter under your skin, then repair the damage afterwards….and I would put it….” the Doctor paused and smiled, “right here, in your arm. It’s not transmitting now, but a limited duration activity, purely to track you makes sense. Wouldn't want to risk anyone hurting you to get it out if they discovered it.”

Missy sighed, as the Doctor released her wrists, and sat up, rubbing her arm subconsciously, “ok. We plan contingencies for this journey so we don’t get stuck there, go out, stick this implant in me, and then wait and watch. It’s a tricky location - we don't want to risk your TARDIS crashing there - we need to be in and out fast. Use a restricted time stop tunnel.”

“We can establish a protective tunnel  - enough to materialise in and get out to you, get back wait for you to leave and then get off the ship and follow you.”

“Right then,” Missy said. “Let’s go watch me raise from the dead.”


	9. Chapter 9

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> sorry for the delay. This has 2-3 chapters left to go.
> 
> Going to be working on Missy and Ainley Adventures in the meantime because I need to be uplifted!

The Doctor and Missy worked solidly on the tunnel, testing and retesting it in an empty room. It appeared fully functional, but with the inability to create a real world scenario of a black hole in close proximity, there was still an element of risk. Satisfied that they could do no more, they then moved to the transmitter - the Doctor automatically taking that task as Missy worked on the device to implant it.

“It’s a strange feeling,” the Doctor said. “To stand here creating the very thing that’s sitting under your skin.”

“Oh I suppose so,” Missy said. “It pales in comparison to killing myself though - that was a pretty big one. I’m very tied up in paradoxes I suppose.”

She held up the tube like device and pushed a button, checking it was fully powered.

“All done.”

“Good,” the Doctor said. “Looks like we’re ready then.”

“What?”Missy said. “Oh, no. Not by a long shot. We need contingency plans - I really don’t like _winging it_ when something goes wrong - and it invariably will. Hopefully not on a grand scale, but all the same- exit strategies, backup communications, defence, useful devices - we are not going to just step out and hope for the best. Preparation, my dear Doctor!”

The Doctor smiled at her, “plans have always been your forte - just tell me what we need to do. Those sound like pretty sound things to consider.”

 

Sometime later, Missy finally decided they were properly prepared and the Doctor had to admit what seemed like overkill at first was actually sound consideration. Missy had every angle covered and she felt quite certain that they could get on and off the ship and track her successfully.

The Doctor bio locked the console and handed her a device, "this will handle anything basic interaction you might need with the monitors, but still keep you locked from the rest of the TARDIS."

"Great," Missy said, sadistically.

“Probably best If I do this part?” the Doctor said. 

"Trusting me alone with you TARDIS though Doctor?" Missy said sardonically. "You know I can get past a bio lock if I want to."

"I do trust you, _completely_ , you're my _wife._ I just can't leave you alone at the moment - right now, you can use the remote interface, you won't have time to modify and use it in any other way or lift the bio lock in the brief time I'll out there."

Missy sighed in frustration, “get going Doctor, I’ll watch your back. The window here is small. We need the lift doors closed before we can materialise, and we only have a short time before whatever happened to me next. We have to be in and out fast.”

Missy stepped away from the console and kept tight hold of a handheld device, watching the readings carefully as the Doctor stepped out into the tunnel. She took a deep breath and opened the doors.

Her eyes fell straight to her past selves as they talked, and she looked away, focusing instead on the readings, and checking the robustness of the temporal pathway they had created.The perception filter on the Doctor’s TARDIS appeared to be working - nothing had felt suspicious in her memory of that moment. The moment had been surreal and disturbing though - the intense feelings she held at that time might have made her senses cloudy enough that she wouldn’t have noticed any small indication that Time Lord technology was close by, yet alone herself and the Doctor.

She looked away, focusing only on the image of the Doctor on the monitor, and making small adjustments to the mechanisms the she had put in place. She found it suddenly impossible to watch, and as laughter broke the tense silence surrounding them all, she tensed and waited for silence to fall once again.

The Doctor stood just outside the open doorway, watching quietly as the events unfolded and with a concerned glance at Missy, she met her eyes.

“This isn’t easy for you to watch - you’re already lived it twice, I’m sorry. I’ll be fast.”

Missy nodded, and turned her attention back to the device she held, stepping back to the doorway. Now that the forest had fallen eerily silent and her body lay on the ground, she couldn’t fight the compulsion to step outside.

She followed behind the Doctor - walking slowly, her boots crunching against the bed of leaves and twigs on the ground. It was an instinctive pull, and she wasn’t even aware of the Doctor, until she had turned and stood in front of her, her hands on her shoulders as she looked into her eyes with great caution.

“Missy, go back inside, this isn’t good - being this close to the same regeneration - please honey.”

Missy stood still, motionless and silent as she merely shook her head. The Doctor sighed and ran her hand down her arm, pausing to squeeze her hand.  
  
“We’ve spent lots of time together," Missy said. "This me, I mean. Different points in my timeline - we help each other, amuse each other...the fabric of time and space hasn’t been ripped apart in all these lives by me doing that and it won’t now.”  
  
“Missy, crossing your time stream isn’t advisable, especially regularly and by choice…” the Doctor said warily.   
  
“Oh hush honey,” Missy said. “I enjoy my own company at times.”  
  
“This is different. This is an event we know nothing about. We can’t remain here for long.”  
  
Missy gave a small nod, and the Doctor quickly turned and walked the rest of the way to where her body lay.

The Doctor reached her quickly, kneeling on the ground beside her as she put a hand to her head, stroking her hair, before her other hand rested between her hearts.

“Missy, can you hear me?” she said.

Missy remained motionless, her eyes staring up at the artificial sky. The Doctor, failing to feel her heartbeats, pulled out her sonic and scanned her quickly, feeling a flash of hope as she detected very faint life signs.

She carefully raised her arm, pushing up her sleeve, and then unfastened two buttons on her cuff to finally reach her skin. She held the device against her flesh firmly and pressed the button. Lowering her arm carefully, she leaned down and placed a kiss on her forehead.

“Whatever you’re about to go through, I’m so sorry, but I’m gonna help you, in one way or another,” she said quietly. “I promise you Missy, I will help you.”

She stood and turned, stepping up to Missy and taking her hand.

“Let’s go back, we can observe much more safely inside,” she reached up and stroked Missy’s cheek. “Come on honey, we need to get out of here.”

Missy blinked, finally able to move her gaze from own body and meet the Doctor’s eyes.

“Not yet,” she said quietly. “Just give me a moment.”  
  
The Doctor nodded and watched her with great caution, “please Missy, only for a moment, this isn’t a good thing - we have no idea what happens next.”  
  
Missy stepped closer and stood beside her body, kneeling down on the ground beside her. She reached out cautiously, the backs of her fingers skimming against her cheek with affection and an attempt to comfort herself.  
  
Leaning closer, she half stretched on the ground beside her, an easier manoeuvre given that the restriction of her corset made it an uncomfortable position to simply kneel and bend forwards.

She stroked her hair as she whispered into her ear, “hold on beautiful, our dear Doctor is going to help you - in time.”

She stroked her cheek, placing a kiss on her lips softly and then eased herself up, holding out a hand to the Doctor.

The Doctor stepped straight toward her, taking her hand and helped her up from the ground, not letting her hand go as they stood.

“Time to go,” the Doctor whispered. “We can do everything else from inside. We can’t stay here and risk further paradoxes.”

“Yes, let’s go,” Missy whispered.

They walked hand in hand back to the Doctor’s TARDIS and the Doctor did not let go until the doors were closed, even walking around the console with her until they had dematerialised.

Once they were safely away, the Doctor checked the readings, and glanced at Missy.

“We don’t know how this change is being triggered in you - you saw Gallifreyan text - there’s no record of anything that was displayed on screen, nothing logged on their system. In our bedroom when we were asleep - there are no monitors, so it’s not a visual trigger - perhaps it’s the words themselves.”

The Doctor dropped her hand and stroked her cheek, giving her what she hoped was a reassuring smile.

“Ok, two things. The words. That’s what we need to look at - you’re receiving a message that activates the device in your head. Then there’s where you went - how you got off that ship. You were not doing good, but you were most definitely not dead when I implanted the transmitter.”

Missy watched her uncertainly, “Someone took me out of there moments before I should have died, I have no idea what happened and my memories are fragmented even after that...and then you found me."

The Doctor sighed, “Erasing your memory means you wouldn't have your usual mental strength to resist any of it. It's almost...Missy, what if all of this is  _still_ going to their plan?”

"They knew you'd find me, and take me with you?" Missy asked, a horrible feeling of dread washing over her.

"Maybe. Maybe, these incidents have been test runs, establishing how complete their control is? Then you are ready for their true plan."

Missy contemplated her words for a while, but her thoughts were completely broken, when a nearby screen refreshed,“somethings happening.”

The Doctor got to work, taking extra precautions to ensure they didn’t lose the lock on the tracking device.

“At this speed and consistency, I’m on a ship, orbiting somewhere likely. Keep the log linear too, we need to know how long I was there," Missy said.

The Doctor moved around the console, pressing buttons while Missy hovered over her, feeling increasingly frustrated at having to be so hands off from the process.

"There!" the Doctor exclaimed. "It's a medical ship, orbiting a very standard, uneventful planet - let's see...the records show there were significant parts of the planets population treated for disease, so that;s why they were orbiting. Medical aid ship?"

"Medical aid with a side business in torturing Time Lord's?" Missy said. "We won't know unless we go there - can we pretend I don't know your chameleon circuit isn't broken and you just _like_ your police box? Because we don't want any risks - leave it to your TARDIS, she needs to blend in very carefully here."

The Doctor nodded, operating the circuit on her console and stepped back, taking her sonic and casting Missy an apologetic smile as she scanned her with her sonic.

"Missy...I asked you to give me everything...I can't take you out there if you have access to something that could be used as a weapon. What haven't you given me?"

Missy gave her an incredulous look, "it's _not a weapon_ , I was honest with you. I'm going out with no means of defence whatsoever! It's a simple TARDIS recall device, and they may not know _you_ , but _I_ can hardly just go out there. Disguises, my dear Doctor. I can easily pass through that ship undetected with you if I disguise myself. For that...I need my TARDIS."

 

 

 

 


	10. Chapter 10

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I am sorry for the delay! I have finished the story now, so just need to edit and go through the second draft of the last 8000 words. It's all gonna get a bit sci-fi...and a bit angsty..and a bit fluffy, because I HAVE to bring Doctor/Master happiness ultimately, despite a little pain along the way, because they need that so much!

Missy glanced her with a look of utter frustration, as she moved to the Doctor’s console and attempted to enter coordinates, remembering immediately that the bio lock prevented any response from the controls.

“Someone took me out of there moment before I died, they have a reason for all this. If they had used me for whatever their purpose was, why put me in that horror house and not just kill me? Whatever they want me for, that place was part of their plan," Missy said as she stood back and gestured to the controls.

The Doctor stepped beside her immediately and reached for her, her hand on her shoulder reassuring as she sighed.

"This is temporary honey, I promise you. I know it’s frustrating. I agree. All my research suggests it’s a lawfully run prison - the morality of their techniques aside, the people who run it check out. You were put their to condition you, I don't doubt that.”

“ _ No one _ gets away with doing this to me,” she said, a tinge of anger and malice colouring her words.

The Doctor sighed and took her hands, leaning in to kiss her softly before stepping back, her hands held tightly as she regarded her.

“Revenge isn’t what we want to aim for - it’s finding out what they did to you, and undoing it. Preventing you from being used as a weapon like this. You’ve come along way Missy, you’ve changed, and I’m so proud of the person you are. This isn’t easy, but we are going to make sure they can’t do this to you anymore.”

“Sure, ok,” Missy whispered, wishing she could find strength in the Doctor’s words.

The Doctor felt a flash of concern and squeezed her hands.

“Let’s get to your TARDIS - can you give me the coordinates?”

Missy reached into her pocket and pulled out her lipstick, holding it out to the Doctor, who looked at it for several moments before she understood.

“A recall device?” 

“Yep,” Missy said.

“How long have you had this?” 

“Always, ever since I...acquired my current TARDIS.”

“Always?” the Doctor asked. “You had this in the vault?”

“Well...yes,” Missy said.

“Did you...use it?” the Doctor asked.

“ _What_?” Missy responded, her voice betraying a degree of shock. “You think I just left whenever I felt like it? I stayed there for almost 100 years - neither of us knew how long it had been at once point! I took the promise we made to each other just as seriously as you, if not more! I didn't swan off on an excursion to Mars and leave you, did I? I _could_ have done any time I liked-  concealed my TARDIS in there, picked up all manner of things to make my life easier and more...bearable, but I didn’t!”

“Missy, i’m sorry,” the Doctor said, feeling an instant dismay at having cast an accusation at her.

“Don't worry Doctor, that entire six months you left me alone, without even Nardole to check on me, I stayed RIGHT THERE!”

The Doctor closed her eyes momentarily and shook her head.

“I’m an idiot, I’m sorry.”

“Yeah, well, welcome to my world -  I couldn’t just escape from Skaro by fooling the Daleks into thinking I was bringing them to glory - I had to go and actually _ do _ that because I got caught up in my own thirst for universal domination and I was just...lonely without you, so taking over the universe with a massive death toll felt like a good idea. So just maybe  _ I’m _ the bigger idiot...by a smidge.”

The Doctor sighed and took her hands, concerned by how on edge Missy actually was.

“That...is not ok, what you did, but it was part of the path that led you to who you are now - led you to us. We can only move forward now honey.”

“Ok,” Missy whispered. “I’m just...not so sure I can live up to your expectation of good - I never could Doctor. I never will be you.”

“Missy, no,” the Doctor stroked her cheek gently. “I don’t want you to be me - I just want you, and you are working out your own version of good, and that’s all I could ever hope for.”

Missy smiled and leaned into the Doctor’s touch as she pressed the button on the base of her lipstick. She stepped toward the white cabinet which now stood in the Doctor’s console room - a slight smile as she placed her hand on the surface to feel the gentle welcoming vibration as her TARDIS recognised her. 

Standing back, she put her hand to her wrist and pressed against her bracelet, the doors opening in response to a warm purple glow. She looked over her shoulder and smiled.

“Welcome to my home. Come on in then my dear Doctor.”

The Doctor smiled at the warmth in her tone and stepped inside, glancing around and taking in every detail.

“Foliage - I love the foliage, and I really love the round things,” the Doctor smiled. “Always love the round things.”

“Yes, I do have a certain fondness for them too,” Missy said, as she walked around her console, her hand running almost affectionately along the edge as she checked readings and settings. Momentarily, the security bracelet emitted a low noise, deactivating. Missy smiled at her console, impressed with her TARDIS for immediately recognising that she was detained in some manner, and releasing her.

“Must be nice - to be in here again. How long has it been?”

“Oh, I don’t know, time get’s hard to track at our age. Been a while though - but I’m not here to reminisce and settle in, i’m here for a disguise. I have an impressive wardrobe room  - prosthetics costumes- lifetimes in the making.”

“You don’t have to rush - we have the coordinates, if you want to spend a little time here Missy, you should.”

“If you’re expecting me to get lost in sentimentality, you’re mistaken Doctor. I don’t need time, I need to find a disguise, get on that ship and find out what they did to me.”

“It’s ok, to feel things like sentimentality,” the Doctor said softly, wishing Missy wasn't being quite so defensive about her feelings.

Missy gave a dismissive smile and pushed open the door, "come on, wardrobe room - I have a corridor of mirrors!"

The Doctor hurried after her as she walked quickly through wide corridors and pushed open a door with a brass engraving.

“Why do you need that many mirrors?”

“Well, you know how new bodies are - you have to know how you look at every angle, what impression you will make. Learn to carry yourself,” Missy said, as she opened a door to what appeared more like another small room, wracks of clothes built into the walls.

“Can't say I think much about that - I just really threw this together,” the Doctor said

Missy turned to her and gave her an amused smirk, “ _oh_ I could respond to that in  _ so _ many ways, but I admit it suits you.”

“I like to think so - so what are you going for….” the Doctor’s voice trailed off as her eye fell on the darker outfits, almost sectioning off the brighter coloured costumes, as s he grasped black velvet between her fingers and paused for a moment overcome with memories.

“Now whose being sentimental” Missy said, as she continued browsing.

“You were here so much longer in that body than your others - four of my lives.”

“Well, i’m all about surviving Doctor, always have been.”

“Oh, I know that. Quite relieved there a few times,” the Doctor said with a smile. “I’m relieved about those times - because my wife is here with me.”

“Yep, sentimental old fool that you are,” Missy said with a laugh as she took the Doctors hands and kissed her softly. 

“Maybe you are just a little bit too honey,” the Doctor said as she kissed her with equal tenderness.

“Mmmm, maybe just a teeny bit,” Missy said as she murmured, kissing the Doctor deeply. “Plan.”

“Plan?”

“Yes honey, we have to form a plan,” Missy said with a laugh, enjoying the chance to pause for a moment from the pain and complications they were so caught up in.   
  
“Ah yes, reality,” the Doctor said sadly. “Ok, you select a disguise and then we can sit down and make a plan - your library? Or somewhere else...you choose”

“I have a lovely garden, i’ll take you there soon, but my library is the best place.”

The soon sat at a large oak table, the scent of aged pages and columns of leather bound volumes surrounding them. The library was impressive and the Doctor quite distracted for the first twenty minutes. Missy had eventually began to lay out her ideas and that had finally reeled the Doctor back in from her total curiosity. 

“You’ll get a tour,” Missy said with a smile. “ _Now_ , we go in, they wont recognise me - small device in this necklace will mask my true bio signals and we can rock up and go and see what horrors they are are performing on me.”

“Missy,” the Doctor said, concern etched into her features as she too her wife’s hand, her thumb tracing the edge of the security bracelet. “Are you going to be ok?”

“Of course my darling, I have been through horrors in all of my lives and this wont phase me. I don’t come out in a burned, unable to regenerate body and living in constant pain this time, so really, I can handle anything this cosmos throws at me. Promise.”

“If you are masking your bio signals, you could - just use a perception filter,” the Doctor said quizzically.

"Well _yes,_ but I need to have some fun on this awful trip - I like disguises.”

“Ok,” the Doctor smiled, quite fond of the Master’s continual enjoyment of masks of disguises.  ”let’s do this then.”

  
  



	11. Chapter 11

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This chapter is longer, has some Twissy in the middle and takes the story in the direction that the final two chapters will go.

The Doctor questioned every second of her judgement in allowing Missy to go with her, but the alternative was to leave her inside a containment field in her TARDIS, and leaving her alone was not an option. In a delay, thus giving Missy time alone, she could eventually escape, and that would open a whole world of problems that the Doctor didn’t want to create. So she stood in her console room, casting Missy an apologetic look as she pointed her sonic at the bracelet she wore, ensuring that it was operating correctly. She tensed, realising it was deactivated.

“Missy…”

“Oh! Sorry, I forgot - my TARDIS can be a little protective of me, probably because she missed me so much. I didn’t do that, she did. Scouts honour.”

She held Missy’s wrist in her hand with a sigh, reactivating the bracelet before she put her sonic screwdriver back inside her coat, running her fingers lightly over the back of her hand. 

“If anything was to go wrong  -which I’m certain it won’t,” the Doctor said. “I need you to understand that this will do more than teleport you back to me if I lost you.”

Missy’s eyes clouded with sadness, but she fought to maintain eye contact, “what will it do?”

“It, will send current to the device, render you unconscious, I’m sorry - there’s no way to make that painless - but hey it won’t come to that will it? We will be in and out of there so fast.”

“Doctor,” Missy said quietly. “Promise me you'll use it - if I hurt anyone….stop me before I do something I can’t come back from.”

The Doctor looked pained and moved her hand to Missy’s shoulder, rubbing gently.

“There's nothing you can’t come back from - I will always be here for you, and this - this isn’t you, it’s something that has been done to you, and that something, we are going to fix, ok?”

“Yeah, sure,” Missy whispered, and took a deep breath.

They teleported onto the ship at Missy’s insistence. The Doctor protested, insisting it was far better to have her TARDIS close by, but Missy talked her round with the logic of keeping a TARDIS safe.

With her mask on, and a modified version of a perception filter hiding Missy’s clothes, she gave the appearance of a young woman, earth, typical fashion for 1990’s London. The Doctor made a mental note to ask her where that disguise had come from - realising that she was quite honest all that time ago in the vault - she _had_ had adventures too. 

They worked their way quickly through the building, their psychic papers giving them immediate security clearance as they announced their arrival to inspect the facility. In no time the had access to the records, and the Doctor copied any relevant medical information about Missy, reading it quickly as she scrolled through an information screen. 

“They extracted cells from you - relatively painless, so that’s a good thing - but then they implanted that device...this will tell us how and help us to stop what its doing to you….you’ve been here for two weeks...we didn’t follow you straight here.”

Missy crossed the room and looked at the screen, “perhaps they have a security barrier, interfered with our teleport, trust me I am very precise.”

“Oh, I trust you on that Missy,” the Doctor said, remembering the graveyard, and how for a brief moment she thought she may have been dead before she recognised the signs of teleportation.

“It seems as though you are sedated - so you’re not in distress or pain - that’s good,” the Doctor said. “Oh...but...look”

“What?” Missy said, frowning at the screen. “Why would they be continuously taking cells from me...and..well _that’s_ impolite.”

“They were frequently taking your cells and using them for an experiment. We need the research files...did you have any luck?”

“Yes......I don’t know how to feel about this,” Missy said.

“What did you find?”

“Looms. They were using my cells..for mass loom production.”

Knowing that her past self was safely sedated, they located the research laboratory - the health and safety inspection story still working, to the point of the Doctor announcing to the security guards, that they were going to become employees of the year for their exemplary security work and giving them all the day off, stating that she would take over, with her much higher authority, for the rest of the day. 

Missy found it most amusing that the Doctor could play a role so easily, laughing to herself as she wandered up and down a row of empty looms before deactivating her perception filter and pulling her mask off as she heard the doors close behind the guards.

“Ok, looms we were not expecting and I haven’t even seen this many on Gallifrey,” Missy said.

“Missy….some of these are activated...nothing in them...but they are being prepared, the environmental settings and temporal readings..they are making optimum conditions to grow a Time Lord. _Lots_ of Time Lord's...all loomed from you. Why would they use your cells...maybe they want to make a clone army of Missy’s,” the Doctor laughed nervously but any trace of humour quickly left her as Missy spoke. 

“Doctor,” Missy said, her voice hushed as her hand pressed against the glass prison. “There’s a child in here.”

“Missy..wait” the Doctor rushed over as Missy opened the cabinet.

“The readings are fine, she’s...ready...they grew a child...with my cells…”

“A child whose..cabinet was probably high security and has now probably...highly likely...set off a major security alert.”

In seconds the lights dimmed to a low red hue and an emergency alarm sounded,

“An actual red alert! Usually they don’t make them so literal...Missy?” the Doctor paused, noticing a change in her wife. “Are you ok?”

 Missy blinked, her eyes vacant, as the Doctor stepped forward in concern.

 “Missy, honey please, hold on to yourself - listen to me, come back to me,” the Doctor pleaded.

Missy pulled a small device from her pocket, fear filing the Doctor as she realised she hadn’t been thorough enough and let her leave with a weapon. The Doctors blood ran cold as Missy grabbed the child, pressing the weapon against the side of her head. The little girl opened her eyes in panic and started to cry, staring at the Doctor in terror. The Doctor gave herself no time to think, and immediately pressed a button as she whispered “I’m sorry.” 

Missy froze and dropped the weapon, suddenly arching her back with a scream as her hands flew to her head and pain coursed through her mind before encompassing her whole body. She fell to the ground, remaining conscious for a few moments, only focusing on the Doctor holding and reassuring the terrified child through her hazy, tear filled vision. She fell hard into unconsciousness, comforted only be the fact that the child was unharmed by her hand. 

 

_When Missy began to wake, she heard echoing voices from somewhere close by, and given that her first instinct was always to form a plan, she just remained still and tried to work out where she was and who she was with._

“And you don’t need to worry about that, because you have come from me and from her and we will protect you and help you, I promise”

“Can I go with you? Can you take me out of here?”

“Of course, I won’t leave you here, you’re safe now, just as soon as we get back to my ship, ok?”

Missy slowly opened her eyes, recognising the Doctor’s voice and feeling safer immediately. 

“Ah, she’s awake,” the Doctor said warmly as she stroked the little girls hair and walked toward Missy, stroking her hair in much the same way.

“How are you feeling?”

“Like my brain exploded,” Missy said, casting her eyes and the little girl who watched her not with a shred of fear, but merely curiosity.

“Well, I have good news and good news, what would you like first...there’s a little bad news, but I think the good news far out weighs the bad.”

“Bad. Give me the bad news,” Missy said as she slowly sat up, her hand going to her head as she rubbed her forehead, wincing. “Who did I kill?”

“Oh honey, i’ll increase the pain medication - I thought I gave you enough”

The Doctor quickly pulled out a device from deep within her pocket, and pressed a button, giving Missy immediate pain relief. She stroked her cheek, scanning her with her sonic to check her condition was ok.

“Me, you tried to kill me, but I’m ok, the Doctor hugged me better,” the little girl said. 

“Hugs are the best medicine sometimes,” the Doctor said. “The bad news - we have to get out of this institute fast - I destroyed their entire research - five years of cruelty. So they want to kill us before they bail out. They were going to blow the place and take us with it, but keep their research. I stopped them. So that’s the only bad news - that we are sealed in here, with my TARDIS outside, but good news?”

“Sure, why not,” 

"She has never left this hospital, she was loomed here. Shes being grown from your DNA which they extracted with the intention of creating an army of you - clone Missy’s, except not clones, because they don’t look exactly like you...because it isn't just your DNA. So, they took you here, performed brain surgery - fused that device into you and studied you as they activated it. All the logs are here in their systems. She is innocent in all this, and well...ours. The voltage I set through you - sorry about that, shorted the device, it’s inactive now so you are not a risk now, you are just you again."

“Wait...you said, it wasn't just my DNA….they used my DNA without my consent, and did that to someone else as well?”

“Yeah…. _me_.”

“Oh,” Missy remained silent for a moment, not certain how to process what the Doctor was saying. 

“You did say they had been impolite...about how they extracted cells...they found a way to take mine too,” the Doctor said.

**The Colony Ship**

She laid on the bed beside her past, staring at the ceiling. She didn’t need to look, to determine if he had fallen asleep, she could sense it. It was strange - being physically close to her past like that - so strangely interwoven and connected that it was hard to hide anything from each other.  
  
She sighed and rolled carefully out of bed, her urge to leave the room too great to risk waking him and having to explain herself. She hadn’t undressed - remaining laced and clasped in all manner of places simply helped remove the temptation - she was the only one of the two of them trying to hold to some level of decency after all. If she stripped off layer after layer of her physical barriers, then he would too, and the temptation to explore the attraction to her past would be too great.  
  
She crossed the room as silently as possible and edged the door open, slipping out and closing it fully behind her. She felt lost as soon as she stepped forwards into the hallway - her past behind the door, and her future...so uncertain and so confusing. She only knew that walking forwards, along the darkened hallway, closer and closer to the the Doctors room, was diminishing the feeling of being lost by the second. 

She gave no pause to knock, no time for etiquette when the impending battle with the Cybermen was threatening at any moment. She turned the handle and walked right in, closing the door and taking a deep breath as she leaned back against it. 

The Doctor roused immediately, opening his eyes but waking fast at the sight of her in his room. He moved to sit up, and winced.

Missy crossed the room in a second and placed her hands under his arms, helping him ease up. He smiled his thanks, and glanced at the space on the bed beside him. Missy hesitated and then gave an almost imperceptible nod, sitting on the edge of the bed and meeting his eyes. 

“Everything ok?” he asked.

“Well, no Doctor. I mean we're this has been the worst trip we've ever taken together and I really would like to go home now. Play some music on my record player, work on my composition, play futile games of chess with you, because you _know_ I will always win - have you visit me with far too much food for us both and stay...even if you won’t hold me...just stay, so I have your presence, so I’m not alone, but here, I’m alone with myself and I really...really, just want to go home.”

The Doctor watched her as her eyes filled with tears and breath hitched, his hearts hurt for her and the turmoil she must be facing.

“So would you please, just this once, break your silly 'no hugging Missy' rule and just _hold me_ ,” Missy burst into tears and remained still, not holding out her arms for fear of rejection and the pain that would cause her. 

“Missy,” he whispered, his hearts hurting to see her pain. “It was never a no hugging Missy rule - it’s all so much more complicated than that.”

Missy gasped as he reached forward, pulling her into his arms and holding her tightly. Her body shook with sobs as he held her, his instinct telling him to place a kiss on her head as he spoke quietly and calmly, speaking to her in Gallifreyan, reminding her of their promise that they had made so long ago. 

Promises. Promises that they would find a way out, that she would leave the vault sometime in the not too far future, that they would travel together - because he hadn’t lost hope, not yet. Three Time Lord’s, even if two were the same person, why ever wouldn’t they get out of it all? 

His words saddened Missy - her memories swinging straight back to the TARDIS, to a hushed conversation he had with Bill who cast fleeting worried glances at her while she deliberately smiled sweetly at her in return. The Doctor had promised Bill too. Always with the hope and promises, but maybe this time, his hope was misplaced. 

Eventually as her tears dried, he stroked her face - the physicality impossible to stop once it had began, and then his hands caressed her, and his lips met hers. She muttered concerns about his injury and health as he pulled her down on to the bed beside her, but chose to accept his denial of his condition when his body covered hers, and she was moaning into his mouth.

When daylight began to creep through the edges of the curtains she kissed him a final time, their hands joined and their touch lingering before she eventually let go and blew him a kiss in an attempt to appear nonchalant, but the weight of her emotions made the act seem nothing but sad.

It was the last time they had touched, until he asked her to stand with him and she had no choice but to break his hearts.

 

* * *

 

The Doctor took Missy's hands and looked at her earnestly.

"So she’s...ours. We may not have made this decision, but we're the only people in the universe she is remotely connected too - she is very much a part of both of us...our daughter Missy.

Missy stared at the little girl who merely smiled shyly back at her.

“Why aren’t you afraid of me? I tried to kill you?”

“The Doctor said it’s not your fault - the bad people here made you do that and she loves you lots, so I’m not scared of you. And I like your tie - its pretty.”  
  
Missy’s hand moved subconsciously to her tie, unaccustomed to compliments from children, and feeling bemused by the entire interaction.

“It’s from earth - fun era for dressing up. Did they hurt you?”

The little girl immediately broke eye contact and appeared nervous, prompting the Doctor to move back to her and place a reassuring arm around her as she sat beside her.

“She is their prototype - sort of a test case, they have the same device in her head - I’ve deactivated it - put her in a deep sleep first so she didn't feel any pain. She’s never taken a single step outside of this building,” the Doctor said.

“They think if they make lots of us from you, that they’ll have all these bad people to kill for them, but they did it all wrong.”

“What did they do wrong?” Missy asked.

“You're not a bad person, so how could I be?” 

The Doctor smiled and kissed her head, glancing at Missy with warmth.

“Research history wiped. Facility about to be destroyed, us in a time bubble inside here - all we need is my TARDIS so we can leave.”

It didn't take them long - two brilliant Time Lord minds working together, to create a device that would call the Doctor's TARDIS through the containment field that surrounded the room. A simple enough act that had to open the field briefly. In moments, Missy had activated the device and the Doctor felt hope rise in her hearts at the sound of her TARDIS materialising. The guards however, were faster than they gave them credit for, the sound of a laser working to cut through the door almost immediately. The Doctor ran to the control panel, desperately adjusting the settings to reestablish the containment field, but the door collapsed down, crashing heavily to the ground as the first guards raced through, aiming and beginning to fire at all three of them.

Missy gave no pause for thought, reacting immediately as she slammed the device into a slot on the panel, adjusting it with expert speed. Mere seconds later she removed it, aimed and fired. The guards collapsed to the floor only to be followed by more, firing almost blindly into the room. She wasted not time, simply aiming and shooting at every guard who entered the room - the repeated sounds of running footsteps approaching, only signalling the likelihood of more and more, until she began to shoot at the final guards who simply turned and ran at the sight of the bodies of the other eight security staff on the ground.

The Doctor wrapped the child in her arms, pressing her face to her chest, shielding her from the scene in front of her.

 “Missy, no please, you have to stop,”

 “Stop?”  Missy said, not meeting the Doctors eyes as she stepped forward, taking out the last two guards who screamed as they tried to run before collapsing to the floor. Adrenalin coursed through every pore of her being, the sense of power and anger bringing her every nerve alive and sharp.

“Please, think of her...don't let her see you do this. Enough people have died, this won’t change anything. Honey please, please just stop. This is you, not what they tried to make you into - you're better than this, we can go now.”

Missy turned her head sharply, her eyes ablaze with anger, trembling with the intensity of the power she could almost taste. The Doctor stayed as calm as possible as she inched her mental barriers open and brushed gently against Missy’s mind, relieved as Missy let her in, even thought it were merely a sliver. She projected calmness, peace, tall red grass blowing in a gentle warm breeze, her hand in Missy’s, a soft kiss against her lips.

 Missy blinked and wiped tears angrily away, the images and sensations filling her mind and grounding her.

“Take her Missy, we have to get her out of here,” the Doctor said, turning her attention to the little girl and speaking softly to her. “Let Missy pick you up and take you to our home honey, she’ll keep you safe.”

Missy remained motionless, staring at the weapon in her hand.

“Missy, now,” the Doctor said more firmly. “MISSY!”

“Ok,” Missy whispered, letting the weapon drop to the ground, the sound echoing through the stillness of the room. She took a steadying breath as he walked up to the child and scooped her up in her arms. “Let’s go.”

The Doctor watched as Missy carried the little girl into her TARDIS, and closed the doors. With a sigh, she double checked the systems were truly obliterated and followed them into the TARDIS, dematerialising as soon as she reached the console - remaining in the Vortex. She rested her hands on the console and sighed heavily, looking up to see Missy staring hard at the ground, tears silently running down her face, the little girl still held securely in her arms. 


	12. Chapter 12

The Doctor watched Missy as she sat on a sofa, the little girl curled up close to her, half on her lap. Missy had an arm around her and placed a soft kiss on her head, when she looked up, finally noticing the Doctor, her eyes brimmed with tears.

The Doctor smiled with affection, “she’s beautiful.”

“Yes, she is,” Missy whispered.

“She’s your daughter - and mine. This is our child, and even though we didn’t get to make this decision together, she is innocent. She needs us, and we can give her what she deserves together.”

Missy seemed to tighten her embrace briefly before kissing her once more, and standing up, carefully easing her back onto the sofa, and tucking a blanket over her sleeping form.

“I can’t do this Doctor,” she whispered.

The Doctor tensed and took a gentle hold of Missy’s arm, walking her to the opposite end of the room.

“Of course you can, she needs you. You will be an excellent mother - you are brilliant, you have so much to teach her.”

“What I am Doctor, is a murderer. I don't even know how many people I killed in there. I did that in  _ front of her _ \- I’m not a mother, I'm not any kind of guardian to her. I can’t take care of her - but you can.”

“I can take care of her, and support  _ you _ to at the same time - help you past this, and let you find out what a wonderful mother you can be. You love her Missy, I can see that in the way you held her, the love I feel from you. She needs you. You relapsed, but you stopped, you could've done worse. I’m devastated that you killed anyone at all but I'm proud of you for reigning it all back in and stopping.”

“You’re proud of me for only killing ten people - that’s what I am Doctor, that’s what you expect of me.”

“No, no honey, that’s not it at all. I’m proud of you for stopping  - once you killed again, you could have kept going, you could have totally fallen, but you didn’t.”

“Yeah,” Missy sighed. “I’m a true champion of goodness.”

“Hey,” the Doctor said, placing a hand on her arm. “Let me ask you something Missy - did you enjoy that? Find it amusing?”

“No,” Missy whispered. “I don’t think i’ll ever even get close to feeling ok about a single moment.”

The Doctor gave a sad smile, “I don’t want you to be in pain, not for a single second, but what you're feeling only shows me that this is not who you are anymore. We can get past this together”

“Yeah, until the next time.”

“Do you want there to be a next time?”

“No,” Missy whispered.

“Then don’t let there be honey,” she said, affectionately stroking her cheek. “Just be you - my beautiful, brilliant wife, and take this journey with me.”

“Sure,” Missy whispered uncertainly as she moved her hand up to rest it lightly over the Doctors as she leaned into the warmth of her touch. “Sure.”

* * *

 

Weeks passed, and Missy appeared to focus entirely on the little girl - she gave barely any thought to anything else, not even spending time in the music room. The Doctor was pleased that she was trying, but concerned on another level. She appeared in some ways to be immersing herself fully in the role of being part of a happy family, and she flat out refused to discuss what she had done at the institute, or the nightmares that woke her frequently.

They sat on a large cushioned garden swing together, watching as the little girl played on the re grass in front of them.

“You were up in the night again, were you ok?”

“Nightmares, I busied myself.”

“I wish you would let me help you when that happens, I always wake if you do - i’m either with you, helping you, or lying awake wishing I was,” the Doctor said, pained.

“I’m sorry - its my hell and I should deal with it alone.”

“You’re my wife, of course you shouldn't,” “I wish you would let me in.”

Missy sighed and gave a sad smile as she watched their daughter play.

“Maybe someday.”

The Doctors hearts dropped at Missy's words, and she took her hand, frowning in concern. “Don't shut yourself away off from me, i’m here for you, always.”

“I’ll try.”

They remained silent for a moment, both watching the child play.

“You’ll always protect her - keep her safe...love her...won’t you?” Missy said, not turning to meet the Doctor’s eyes.

“Of course I will Missy, and so will you. We’re a family honey.”

Missy stood, her voice shaking with emotion and the threat of tears, “I’m going to rest, I didn’t sleep well last night. Can you get her some dinner?”

“Of course, “the Doctor said, resting her hand on Missy’s arm. “You go rest.”

The last thing Missy saw before she left a note on the Doctor’s console and left, was a glimpse of her daughter and the Doctor, playing in the garden.

Locking on to her TARDIS has been easier than she assumed - the teleport bracelet deliberately engineered for only one trip. She didn't hesitate.

It took a mere second to leave her life behind. 

She stood in her TARDIS console room, the lights dimmed as she pulled the lever to dematerialise - and dropped to the ground, sobbing.

 

The Doctor returned to the console room much later and froze at the sight of the note.

 

-My Darling Doctor,

 

I am so sorry. I have to leave.

 

You’re a good person, the very best person and she will be safe and happy with you.

 

I love you unimaginably Doctor, and I  _ do _ love her, but if she is to stand any chance of a good life - I have to leave.

 

I will always love you both,

 

Missy. Xx

 

The Doctor gripped the note firmly in her hands as her hearts raced and a feeling of intense nausea came over her. She couldn’t do this, she couldn’t run from her family.  She scanned, over and over, desperate for a trace of her, finding only the evidence of a recent teleportation. Assuming she had located her TARDIS, she soon realised that Missy had shielded it very effectively. She really didn’t want to be found.

She turned to look at the little girl, “hey honey, your mummy isn’t feeling very well and she’s not here for a while, but you have me - I’m your mummy too. She’ll….be back.”

As the Doctor kissed the little girls head, a feeling of desperation over took her, and a need to find her wife before she succoured to any bad tendancies and slipped.

 

~

Time passed - days and then weeks that rolled into months. The Doctor began her days the same way without fail - placing a soft kiss on her sleeping child’s head, and slipping out to the console, scanning for Missy using different methods and working on algorithms to break through shielding, Whatever she did, she drew a blank. Her wife, simply did not want to be found. 

She gripped the edge of her console as she stared, defeated at the monitor.

“Eventually you’ll get into trouble, need me to bail you out - won’t you? That’s how I’ve always found you,” she sighed as she let the sadness fill the void in her hearts that Missy had left.

The realisation that Missy had changed, and even this...slip, if it could be reduced to such a trivial term, had not seen her fall to the path of destruction she had always left, meant she was very hard to locate. No blazing planets and trails of chaos - all those acts that for lives had been designed for the most part to cause the Doctor to come running and save everyone. The Master not wanting to be found by the Doctor - this was new territory that she simply hadn’t expected to be faced with.

She had attempted to communicate through every channel they had ever opened to each other - but Missy had simply severed all communication with her.   
  
Her absence left a startling silence throughout the Doctor’s life - she had locked the music room, finding their daughter repeatedly wandering in there and sitting at the piano, her untamed hair that the Doctor found impossible to style, constantly needing untangling. The Doctor’s hearts hurt every time the little girl pressed the keys and giggled at the sound.

“I miss you,” she whispered, as she stared at the now familiar absence of hope on her tracking screen. “Just come home.”

~

Missy sat in her TARDIS monitoring room - her screens displaying multiple images of planets as she cycled through options, and pointedly ignored the screen directly in the centre. Targets - potential targets, she could take a planet over, control the population and be served like a queen. It was a simple past time and one that she had always found a great diversion - but it held no genuine appeal for her now. 

With a sigh, her eye skimmed the central screen, her peripheral vision taunting her with images of the people she loved. She closed her eyes and sighed in frustration, all it would take would be an open channel - a quick and easy action and she could talk to the Doctor. Instead, she found herself opening her eyes and focusing hard on the screen, tears prickling as she watched the Doctor trying and failing to style their daughters hair, and resorting to simply tying it back with a straightforward band.

Her hand hovered over the controls, her hearts desperately wanting to reach out. Instead, she sighed as she slowly withdrew her hand, sitting back in her chair and focusing on the planets instead. 

She closed her eyes and stood up, grabbing her umbrella and spinning quickly around multiple times before coming to a stop and raising the umbrella. 

She opened her eyes to see which planet her umbrella was pointing to.

“Naxial Five, congratulations, you’re about to meet your new ruler.”


	13. Chapter 13

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Last chapter, thank you so much for reading :-)

The Doctor looked in dismay at the screen and considered that the system she had upgraded to give more details about distress calls was perhaps a torment at times. She could not take her daughter into danger, but knowing that she therefore couldn’t respond to the cries of help around the universe was very difficult. This distress call though - this one bore all the hallmarks of the Master and her hearts rose in hope. The hope was drenched in dismay and concern and uncertainty however - which Master? If it were Missy, what harm had she caused? Her hearts were conflicted.

She conducted as much recon as possible from within her TARDIS, chatting to her daughter as she played on the console room floor, balancing cubes using a very basic time experiment and giggling as one cube remained in place as the others fell. 

“Sudden mass behavioural changes, a new ruler, risen to power fast, with no history on that planet - media blackouts, so I can’t see who that ruler is,” she paused, scrolling through screens. “Ah! Look at this...sketchy reports of groups of dissidents not affected by the behavioural changes..most have unquestioning obedience to the new ruler….I’m going to visit...little trip, what do you think?”

The little girl simply balanced another cube, in deep concentration.

“Ok, I know it's risky to take you out there but I can’t leave you here alone...the chances of this being the Master we want to find are good…” she swivelled the screen as the little girl glanced up and  smiled at her.

“If she’s here, it’ll be fine, she wouldn't hurt us. She’s not a bad person.”

“I believe that she wouldn’t hurt you in any way, and she doesn’t _want_ to hurt me - or any of these people...but she might not be feeling all that well,” the Doctor sighed, unwilling to bring up a second of Missy’s past, or sketchy reports of the disappearances of dissidents as she held up a bracelet. “It will teleport you right back to me if you get lost - it won’t hurt a bit, promise.”

The Doctor instinctively held her hand as they stepped outside - she had been cautious, over cautious as she did all the research she possibly could from within her TARDIS. They had materialised as close to the centre of the highest population density - a controlled population, not dispersing in a time of crisis, would indicate the biggest hypnotised populous. 

Within an hour of exploring the unfamiliar planet, the Doctor was nothing short of confused about Missy’s plan - the time frame appeared the same - just a few months since she had left. Apart from a tightly controlled population, and a small number of isolated disappearances, nothing at the level of sinister she had come to know from the Master was actually happening. 

A scan of the area did not reveal Missy’s TARDIS, or any trace of another Time Lord, but she was unsuprised by that - perception filters and shielding in place and would take time to identify and begin to work through. 

"Why does she teleport if she has a TARDIS? How did she get off SKARO….That’s what I'm missing….think Doctor...think...ah! She keeps it just out of reach - smart move - I like mine nearby - sort of time and space security blanket - but she keeps hers out of harm’s way..so that means...she very likely has a teleport device of some sort...and with most of the population hypnotised...she will be the only one using one.."

The Doctor located a house, quickly dispersing he residents with her physic paper, and surveying the room thoroughly before settling the little girl down in the room right next door. She placed her in a containment field, reassuring her that she would be right back, and pulled the door closed, happy that the audio limiters would give her some privacy to talk to Missy. 

She got to work immediately, setting up equipment and powering everything up. Sitting down with a sigh, she turned a dial, and watched as the equipment linked up with the nearest available teleportation device. She sat up, her heart’s rising as she made a connection and the flickering of teleportation energy appeared in the room in front of her.

Standing up, she held a remote controller tightly as she turned up the power, realising she had one chance before Missy realised what she was doing and made an attempt to counter it. 

In seconds, Missy began to materialise right in front of her, her eyes wide with surprise and then a hint of panic in her partially solid form as her hand moved to her bracelet and she tried to revere the teleport. 

“No, no, no Missy - just come to me honey, don’t fight it,” the Doctor said as she turned the power to maximum in one sudden burst.

Missy slapped her bracelet as she fully materialised, and cursed in Gallifreyan before taking a log, slow breath and meeting the Doctor's eyes in silence.

“That’s better, now we can have a proper chat - not too evil any of this, is it? You’ve hypnotised them and placed yourself in power, but you're not really….doing anything with that power...except for the disappearances….it’s ok, if you need help - just tell me, because I promise you, I won’t turn away from you. Did you kill them? Or have them killed?”

“No,” Missy whispered. “I...um...they're in my palace, I just didn’t know what to do with them.”

“You abducted them?”

“No, well..depends how you look at it. I shrunk them - they’re not dead. How did you find me?”

“Months of hard work. Hold on, you’ve got perfectly alive ten inch tall people in your palace?” the Doctor asked, almost feeling bemused.

“Yes, well they’re not roaming about - I have them in a containment field...with suitable housing.”

“What kind of….wait, do you have them in  miniature houses?” the Doctor asked.

“Children’s doll houses - they have furniture…” Missy said, her voice wavering as tears threatened to take hold. “You could have been months into a new life with your daughter by now...chasing after me is only going to bring pain.”

“Pain? You leaving us, that’s all that’s caused pain! You haven’t even really hurt anyone here - the only people you’ve hurt are your family - and I know that sounds harsh, but i’m not angry with you, I understand, I do Missy. You’re scared. I am too - a child is a huge responsibility. You’re not bad for her - you’re a beautiful shining example of growth and change and all those wonderful things that make a person good. You ran because you were afraid of what you were capable of, of guilt and remorse and fear.”

Missy broke eye contact and took a deep, unsteady breath as she battled to remain in control of her emotions as the Doctor stepped forward, taking both of her hands in her own. 

“You’re afraid _because_ you’ve changed Missy - she needs you as much as she needs me. We balance each other perfectly, and she needs you. She believes in you, and I believe in you - come home honey, please, you don't need to run from me...from us, you really don’t.”

Missy lost the fight with her tears and began to cry, talking through shaking breaths as she held the Doctor’s hands tightly.

“I don’t deserve to - I walked out on us...you and me, our family. I can’t just come back.”

“Honey of course you  can - you’ve been through hell...utter hell, and then you killed, and we need to talk about that, we do, and we will, because you have to process that, but you ran because of that Missy, and you haven’t really harmed anyone here.”

The Doctor sighed and pulled Missy into her arms, holding her tightly as she kissed her head.

"I forgive you Missy, now please come home and I can help you to start to forgive yourself too. I love you, and I miss you and I need you.” 

Missy gave no response except to break down in tears, sobbing hard as the Doctor held her firmly and lovingly in her arms, placing kisses on her head and whispering reassurances to her.

As Missy finally began to calm, the Doctor kept her arms around her as she moved them back toward a couch, easing them down and cuddling her close as she stroked her hair back from her face and gently wiped her tears away. Squeezing her shoulder, she smiled sadly and kissed Missy’s cheek.

“Can you unshrink them?” the Doctor asked curiously.

“Unshrink? Yes...I just didn’t know what to do with them. Hamster cages seemed too cruel - but they’re not exactly happy with their luxury enclosures - they barely touch the meals I put on the little plates while they’re asleep.” 

“Well,” the Doctor mused. “They probably think you’re going to poison them.”

“They’re ungrateful - If I put the food in while they’re awake they bite me,” Missy said.

“Well, to be fair to your bizarre living doll collection, they probably have little trust in the person who shrunk them. People don’t generally enjoy being turned into dolls.”

“They hide under the table and in the cupboards when I come in - I will never see the appeal in keeping pets, they’re not fun or entertaining at all.”

The Doctor glanced at her and shook her head, “they’re probably traumatised Missy, how about we drop that containment field and restore them and go home?”

“Just like that? Just go home?”

“Of course,”

“You’re an idiot, always forgiving me,” Missy said, her tears drying and her tone lighter.

“Yeah,  I'm _your_ idiot and for the record - never giving up on you. Ready to come home?”

Missy felt a flash of fear and took a deep breath before turning her head to meet the Doctor’s eyes.

“Ok...let’s go home.”

“Brilliant,” the Doctor said, her heart’s filling with contentment. “I'd love to see your garden soon, when you feel ready.”

“My TARDIS does lots of clever things, I have so much to show you...she’s sort of like me I suppose..”

“Beautiful and clever?” The Doctor said with a lightness that made Missy smile. 

“She’s not all good or all bad, or all anything. She’s powerful, but she’s content with that I suppose. In the wrong hands, she could be a universe ending weapon...but I don’t want to do that anymore.”

The Doctor smiled and took Missy’s face in her hands, kissing her softly.

“Then I think she’s in perfect hands.”

“Did you get a babysitter, to come and talk to me?” Missy asked curiously. 

“No honey, she’s next door, containment field - safe and sound and cant hear a word of this. Ready to see her?”

“She going to be uncomfortable around me?”

“Of course not, she misses you.”

“Ok,” Missy whispered, uncertainly. 

The Doctor gave her no time to overthink the situation and stood, crossing the room, and walking through the door. Moment later she returned, the little girl bounding ahead of her, and diving straight into Missy’s arms,settling with a  happy smile.

Missy didn't react initially, startled at the sudden outburst of affection, and eventually began to relax, her arms encircling her lovingly as she kissed her head and held her tightly.

“I missed you,” she whispered. “I won’t leave again, I'm sorry.”

The little girl looked up at her, her eyes full of love, “you’re coming home now?”

“Yeah,” Missy said, as the Doctor sat down beside her and draped her arm around her shoulders, her hearts full of warmth and love at her family being complete again.

“Yeah, I _am_ coming home, and we’re going to be happy - promise,” Missy said, as she turned and kissed the Doctor, her eyes filling with tears of hope and happiness. 

"We we're talking about her name," the Doctor said. "No one gave her one, and she has had an idea that I think is excellent."

"Yes!" the little girl excitedly said. "My idea is that you choose."

"Me?" Missy said, momentarily taken aback. "I _have_ thought about it a little, but are you sure?"

"Yes please!" she said happily.

"Ok," Missy said with a smile. "When I said I had thought about this a little...I may have not been totally honest...may have thought about it a _lot_."

"What do you think then honey?" the Doctor asked.

Missy looked at her wife and daughter and smiled, "a name that means hope?"

"That sounds perfect," the Doctor said with a smile. "What did you choose?"

"Ashia," Missy said with a warm smile. "Your name is Ashia."

 


End file.
